Steamroller Funk profile picture

Steamroller Funk

I am here for Friends

About Me


I'm the sassafras, and I like to make noises that involve me exhaling very loudly from my nose, usually onto other people. I'm from Milwaukee, and I love nearly everything about it and miss it terribly sometimes, but I'm never moving back for reasons too complicated to list here. You'll never see me with long-sleeves-- I always roll them up, because I'm always just a little bit too warm. I tend to think that people who write poorly or spell things incorrectly are incompetent and somewhat unintelligent; it reflects very badly on someone when they can't even make good use of their native language. I sometimes come off as arrogant and/or unapproachable, but usually only to people who don't know me very well. Despite this, I seem to be a magnet for strange men, and could tell you some very interesting and highly entertaining stories (I swear that Alex and certain other friends stay in touch with me for this reason alone). Also, I spend lots of time and money doing things just for the sake of the process: I would rather spend $60 on sushi-making ingredients than have it already prepared for me in a decent restaurant for half that. I also make my own ice cream, but I'm always trying to add liqueur to it, so it never freezes quite right. I used to paint quite a bit (acrylic on canvas), but I've only just recently gotten an apartment big enough to have an adequate workspace to start up again. When I was younger, I read a lot of medical texts "for fun" and am now plagued with the hugely mistaken belief that I can accurately self-diagnose all maladies real or perceived. I once frantically called the Norris Health Center demanding an emergency appointment, convinced that I had pelvic inflammatory disease; it turned out to be PMS, and they were kind enough not to laugh at me in my presence. Also, I used to sneak down to the pool late at night, before it was officially "open" for the season. And sometimes, I'm secretive about the strangest of things, like what I ate for lunch today.
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My Interests



"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?" - Futurama (vis a vis Carl)

I'd like to meet:

Non-stalkers. Yeah. No more stalkers.
. . . and Hugh Grant.

Also, people who can bother themselves to learn rudimentary HTML and make their OWN Myspace pages, rather than using some unoriginal, pre-made layout. If you're going to be a cyber geek, at least make it real.

Weather Forecast | Weather Maps | Weather Radar ..Weather Forecast | Weather Maps | Weather Radar ..

Music:


The list is long, but among my favorite are: BLUR (circa the Parklife album), CROWDED HOUSE, THE CURE, DAVID GRAY, ERIKA, GIRL TALK, IMOGEN HEAP, JAMES, MADDER ROSE, MODEST MOUSE, MORRISSEY, OZOMATLI, POSTAL SERVICE, RUFUS WAINWRIGHT, SAVE FERRIS, SEU JORGE, SIGUR ROS, THE SMITHS, THE SPECIALS, SQUIRREL NUT ZIPPERS, THE SUNDAYS, THIEVERY CORPORATION, TRAVIS. . .

Movies:

Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, Bottle Rocket, Rushmore (basically, anything produced by Wes Anderson except The Darjeeling Limited, which pretty much sucked), Garden State, Amelie, Juno, Dogma, I Heart Huckabees, Drive Me Crazy, Punch Drunk Love, Idiocracy, Lost In Translation, Keep Mum, Ghost World, Love Actually (or anything with Hugh Grant in it, really; I think he's the sexiest man alive), Dirty Pretty Things, etc etc etc.

Greatest movie quote ever:
"I went to law school here."
"You went to law school at Costco?"
"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either... luckily my dad was an alumnus and able to pull a couple of strings."

and

"So, for their insolence, God decreed that neither Lochi nor Bartleby would ever be allowed back into paradise."
"Were they sent to Hell?"
"Worse. Wisconsin."

Television:

On the rare occasions I'm home, and the even rarer occasions that I'm watching television, I like House, Surprise By Design (Robert Verdi is my superhero!), Scrubs, and The Office. I also catch Seinfeld re-runs whenever I can.

Books:

"Sir Gawain and the Green Knight";"The Most of P.G. Wodehouse" - P.G. Wodehouse;"The Anonymous Lawyer" - Jeremy Blachman;"Night of the Avenging Blowfish", "I'd Like to Buy a Vowel", "Begin to Exit Here" - all by John Welter;"Gargantua and Pantagruel" - Francois Rabelais; "Fairytales" - Perault;FOUND magazine;DIRTY FOUND magazine.

Heroes:

Jesus Christ.

My parents, especially my mom, for loving and supporting me unconditionally in all of my endeavors; on Postsecret, I viewed this one elaborately decorated postcard that read, "I love my mom, but she'd never know it because I'm always so mean to her on the telephone."

Liviu Librescu.

My Blog

Skepticism ruins all interesting things. . .

me: I also went for lunchme: And began reading a book about WiccaScott: awesome. my friend is a witchScott: cast a good spell for meme: Eh.Scott: one with prosperity and lots of good looking womenme: ...
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Sun, 25 May 2008 10:13:00 PST

Congratulations

. . . to everyone who graduated this weekend. Especially the 4L Evening students, who always worked very hard throughout, yet somehow always made time for the more important things in life (Mark Nicho...
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Sun, 11 May 2008 03:45:00 PST

Only in America

. . . do we embrace and pander to idiocy. On my way to Clermont the other day (for sketchy reasons, according to Brandon), I was driving through Speedway and saw a florist shop with a sign that read, ...
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:18:00 PST

Campari

My boss' boss aspires to get various different types of alcohol recommended by a Newsweek article. One of those is Campari. It makes me think of the scene in "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" where...
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Fri, 08 Feb 2008 06:19:00 PST

Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPONTneuaF4
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Sun, 16 Dec 2007 01:10:00 PST

You can have a crush on anyone. I have a crush on Katie Couric, and she’s old.

Said by Carl at 1:51 a.m. EST Sunday, December 16, 2007.
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Sun, 16 Dec 2007 10:53:00 PST

I <3 Indiana

Thank you to all my Indy friends who indulged in a lovely evening with me last night. I wish I could bring you all "home" with me next weekend to partake in my WI celebrations, too.
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 04:49:00 PST

Email from Jeremy-- never a waste of time to read.

Jeremy Ulrey to me show details 8:48 pm (17 minutes ago) An innocuous question, apropos of nothing, really:If you were the type of woman who loved a man in uniform, which of these would be most up y...
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 06:08:00 PST

The State!!!

The State was my favorite television show as a child, and was instrumental in forming the woman I am today. Posted here are but a few of the samplings of the show that I've finally managed to dredge u...
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Mon, 01 Oct 2007 10:21:00 PST

Maybe I’m just creepy. . .

I got yet another new cell phone. As I was programming numbers into it from my old phone, I came across Liz's number. It just felt too weird. Ever since I've owned a cell phone, nearly some ten years ...
Posted by Steamroller Funk on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 06:47:00 PST