Kristi

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Kalleigh is a WEIRDO, but she's MY HERO!!!
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Sometimes life throws us for a loop. And I guess that the most important thing is that we learn how to pull up our boot straps, and get back on the horse. No one knows this better than I, because my life has been a lot of twists and turns, and I have come out the other side intact. I realize that things happen for a reason, and that no matter how resistant to change I am, it is the only constant in life. Eventually, I surrender, and find the acceptance necessary to move on.I am grateful for so many things. This is a new year, and full of many new hopes and dreams, and even some scary considerations, like the fact that my baby will be sixteen soon, and is growing into a beautiful woman right before my eyes... sometimes when I look at her, I still see the beautiful little face that I looked into for the first time on January 16, 1992, at approximately 12:45AM (she was born at 12:20AM, but with the clean up, and check up, that's when I believe I held her in my arms for the first time). It wasn't the easiest experience of my life, but one of the most rewarding, and definitely one of the best things I have ever done.Unfortunately, due to some foolish choices that I made, I cannot take a lot of credit for the beautiful woman she is today, but I did what I did out of love, and I hope that she understands that. I believe that she does, but my worry is that having had an absent mother is a hurt that doesn't necessarily go away, and it leaves a fear of abandonment or the possibility that it will happen again. Trust that it will not, if I have anything to do with it!I have made mistakes. But I have also made a choice to make the right decisions today, and God willing, I will be here for a long time to come. I will not walk away willingly again. I am grateful for the path I am on, and it is an ever-changing journey. I am fortunate that I have the ability to appreciate that for the gift it is, even when things are difficult, or not going quite the way I would like them to.I have the benefit of a loving (if sometimes difficult) family, but the other gift is that we can communicate, even if we don't want to hear what is being said. I sometimes think it is unfair to have to continue to pay the piper for the errors of my youth, but I also understand and appreciate that everyone has feelings, and we all have to work through them in our own time and own way. I was given a lot of love, and the least I can do is reciprocate and give others the same respect, even if I believe it is unfair. Feelings aren't facts, and how we get through them varies... at least I am willing to try and work through the issues today, instead of pretending like they don't exist at all... I have a wonderful family, great children, and I wouldn't trade them for anything, at least most days... LOL.I have endured the consequences of my actions, and come out a better person for it. I have learned things about myself and what I want out of life, and I am grateful today. It is such a blessing to be in a position where you can look back, and realize the growth that you have achieved.My life is not perfect, nor am I. I struggle, just like everyone, but I have learned how to seek out the options and choices that are available to me instead of assuming I have none. I do not always make the right choice, but I have learned accountability and how to be an adult. That doesn't mean that I always have to be mature, it just means that I know how when I need to.I am a kid at heart. I love with everything that I have and I am true to myself and those that I love. I appreciate the same things in return, and choose my friends wisely today. stars layout powered by HOT FreeLayouts.com / MyHotComments
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