lce Feathers

I am from West Virginia. No stereotypes are applicable. If you knew me in high school, that nickname no longer applies. If you don't already know what the aforementioned nickname was, tough. I am not telling. I am highly stereotypical of my zodiac sign. 95% of what you read about Scorpios pertains to me. I hate everybody by default, then individually select the ones I like. I curse. A lot. ...dammit. I'm very secretive and extremely introverted, but I'm an open book if you catch me in the right mood. I am truly a bitter little s-o-b. I also admit to being mean. I think random violence is cool. I think it's funny when people I don't like get hurt. I enjoy conversational debate about philosophical subjects. I talk bad about people behind their back, but won't say anything I wouldn't say in front of them. Guilt doesn't work on me. And my sense of pity is infinitesimal. I have a sense of humor that most would find questionably tasteless. I think I'm funnier than I actually am. I boast nearly inhuman patience. The downside to this being I have practically no perception of the passage of time. My religious beliefs most likely conflict with yours. After years of dealing with a little sister, I find that any amount of begging, no matter how pitiful or obnoxious, not only doesn't work on me, but makes me less likely to do that than I already was. I could probably pass for a half-elf because of my height and semi-pointed ears. I'm really big on Dungeons & Dragons and the online PC equivalent, Neverwinter Nights. That doesn't make me a devil worshipper. To the contrary, I think the devil is kind of a dick. My deity of choice is an oversized stale marshmallow peep. I have tendancies towards jealousy and possessiveness, which I admit is uncool. I was a ninja, and a ninja trainer, but quit when they started letting overweight TV personalities be one. I'm lookin' at you, Selwyn. I'm an honorary Dutchman, maar ik weet niet hoe te vliegen. I don't do optimism, and find myself frequently disagreeing with people who do. When I go to bed at night, I check my closet for Chuck Norris. Yes, I'm an actual boogeyman. I pay union dues and everything! No, I don't hide in closets or under the bed. This is because you people (especially you) have too much crap in there. My weapon of choice is a machete, but I'm also proficient with the kukri. I don't celebrate any mainstream holidays. I acknowledge virtually none of them. I'm pro choice, but anti-slut. I despise having to be up early, and will only do it for very good friends or family, or if I'm being paid. Even then, grr. I'm for the death penalty. Bigots of any kind disgust me. I believe in hating everybody equally. I think population control is a good idea. I'm a mute. So don't expect to ever hear my voice. I think people who drink and drive should get their legs broken. Seriously. I don't get politics, nor do I want them. I, like many, think Dubya Bush is a moron. I still say we'd be screwed regardless of who sits in the president's chair. I believe America is seriously f'ked up, and still one of the best countries in the world. I believe criticizing your government is one of the most patriotic things an American can do. I think war is sometimes a necessary evil, whether I agree with it or not. Cheerleaders like, totally irk me 'n junk. I've been a biker wanna-be for years. My name isn't U. If you must shorten my name to one letter, it's D. Also, "ur" is a sound retarded people make. If you say it, I will assume you're retarded. I think premarital sex is great, but only under the pretense of an actual relationship. I believe love without lust will never be anything more than platonic. I believe lust without love is perfectly acceptable, albeit entirely pointless aside from selfishness. Someone who's easy to make laugh is infinitely cooler than somebody who's easy to screw. I don't think I could ever be more than a casual aquaintance with someone who doesn't have a sense of humor. As far as I'm concerned, women who don't act like ladies don't get the benefits of being one. My daddy not only could beat up your daddy, but probably would. I'm a geek, and I f'king dare anybody to make fun of me for it.. My favorite comic character is Deadpool . He's funnier than Spider-Man, more badass than The Punisher, and has kicked The Hulk's and Wolverine's respective asses.²
(² True.) The singing hotdog from "Perfect Hair Forever" owns me. I think most of what George Carlin said was not only funny, but true. I do not want to "hook up" with anybody from MySpace. If you're an exception, I'll let you know. If you make a post that says something like, "Repost this or else..." the chances of me doing it lowers significantly. If you're gay, I acknowledge that you are here and indeed queer, and have gotten over it. I, however, am straight, and ask for the same understanding. If you don't, then we have a problem. I don't care how "in love" you think you are, even a little bit. Yes, it has a lot to do with jealousy. For every moment I have to spend hearing about your wonderful Mister Y or Miss X, I hate you that much more. I think Internet relationships are for social retards. Yeah. I don't read every silly little post that people make. I just don't have time, nor the interest. There is no way to track how many names are on a bulletin without the use of scripting, which isn't allowed. So don't bother. Come to think of it, I just plain hate chain letters. If you say you're going to delete me from your friends list if I don't beg you not to, just do it. If that's the nature of our relationship, it's not worth keeping anyway. If you dislike me for any reason, fek off. I care as much about what you think of me as you care what I think of you. Lets both agree to pretend the other doesn't exist and go on with our lives. Despite all my negativity, I at least have tact . I strongly encourage others to look into this phenomenon. I'm actually a pretty boring person, once you get past the wicked sense of humor and mediocre good looks.

You are Michael Myers. You are quiet, and have serious family issues. You wont rest until you kill your entire family, and everyone who gets in your way. You dont really care what you kill with, but you prefer a nice butcher knife from the kitchen. There is no hope for you. There is nothing living behind your eyes but evil.

Andrea : Possibly one of my oldest IRC friends who I didn't part on bad terms with or who purposely dropped out of virtual existence. This delightful little ray of black sunshine doesn't force cheerfulness, which I totally dig, and is pretty easy to get along with and actually relate to, which is rare for me to say.
Bob : Recca is, by far, one of the coolest cats I've had the honor and privledge of meeting. This CUC geek is as humble as he is charming. Just don't let him drive (or fly) you anywhere -- ever. He has a taste for Asian chicks that is only matched by their taste for him. Mmm, that's good Recca.
Brooke : For quite a long time, this scorchin' hot fox was my favorite creative cohort and would-be girlfriend. Sporting an affinity for rp that matches my own, our virtual lives became sadistically connected (in a good way). If I was ever to plan a serious crime, she'd be pretty high on my list of accomplice choices.
Erin : Ice Kitty has been one of my gamer friends for longer than I've known just about anybody I still talk to, online or off, who isn't family. Also the one who inducted me into the CUC and, by proxy, some of my most memorable online friends.
Harm : Mijn goede vriend van Nederland. One of the nicest, most creative and talented, coolest, well maybe not coolest, but smartest friends I've ever had -- all in one oversized package. Ik kan genoeg goed over deze klootzak niet zeggen, so I won't even try. Heh.
Jessica: Double J was, by far, one of the coolest fellow gamers I kept in touch with after being orphaned from an online community I hung with every day for better than a year. Of them all, I got along best with this one. Friendly, highly intelligent and creative with a decent sense of humor. Though lost to the real world, she'd always have a place in any virtual circle of mine.
Jordan : One of those people you look at and can tell they're always thinking. Probably about how to kill you and get away with it. This is saying nothing of his wit and dry sense of humor that makes you ponder some deep symbolical metaphor about being parched. Was last seen venturing forth into Azeroth.
Josh : My tag-team partner and best friend since day one of high school, Jehos A. Phataboo. Together, we made a really big hole, uncountable Inside jokes, and even touched a girl once. Currently lost somewhere in the big sandbox south of Europe. Get yer ass back here in one piece, Speedbump.
Keisha : Fancies herself my conscience -- and for good reason. Has seen me through some of my lowest points with an open mind, a crapload of wisdom and infinite patience. Can be the sweetest girl or meanest bitch around, so I like being on her good side. Still not a ninja, though.
Kelly: Invited me into her home and was a great friend when I needed one most; even made me feel like part of her family. I still think of you, with great fondness, where ever you may be Kelz, and miss you to this day.
Kristina : An oddly intelligent Oregonian, which in itself perplexes me. She is also one of my old CUC RP buddies. This must be, by quite a margin, the easiest person to make laugh I have ever interacted with, which I find infinitely endearing. Probably the only person who honestly finds me as funny as I do.
Matt: Funiculus, general of the CUC, is a genuinely okay person, despite a healthy disdain for his fellow man (particularly Oregonians). And, holy chit, is he smrt. Typically goes above call to help someone he'd refer to as friend (or team mate). Also my co-coordinator in the zombie apocalypse survival plan.
Ped: Truly, the definitive sidekick for a two-dimensional superhero such as myself. He doesn't force cheerfulness, doesn't guilt me for my perpetual negativity, never passes judgement on my constant asinine mistakes, and -always- has time to listen. Then never asks or needs a single thing in return. Everybody should have a pet rock.
Steve: "The Butcher" as I affectionately refer to him, could easily have rated as my closest real life friend, despite his being significantly older than me. In many ways, he almost is me. Ultimately cool as shit for a drunk redneck from BFE, WV.
Terri: Somehow this incredibly creative Nymphetamine walks the line of hippie "sunshine up your ass" bs without making me physically ill. To the contrary, I actually enjoy those small doses of pleasantness she brings to a party. Not to mention a philosophical pecan center. (And I don't normally even like nuts.) Has proven time and again she has a lot to offer any creative project or game.
Tina : I feel she went out of her way to transition me back into having "real life" friends after a LONG period of having none. Easy to talk to, and good at holding a conversation when I'd go into "silent but listening" mode. Accumulated many cool points in a short period of time. Even her family took a liking to me.

* Your skill in Reading has just gone up 1 point(s).
* Your actions have shifted your alignment 1 point(s) towards Stupid .
* You are now True Stupid .