my doughy physique |
Being a fat fuck is very similar to being an alcoholic. The past month I went running 4 times a week. Then midterm week came and I got tired and only ran once. My doughy physique instantly loses any p...
Posted by on Tue, 12 May 2009 12:50:00 GMT |
crack |
The best things about having a crack head living on your couch is there is always someone in the house that you can say you are better than, they usually dont have a job and the guilt of being a crac...
Posted by on Fri, 08 May 2009 14:12:00 GMT |
Drinking problem |
May 5th I will be in the Funny Bone Finals. The semifinals were great I had a bunch of people come out. Hopefully I can get another big turn out for the finals. After the show I went to Adobe Gilas an...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Apr 2009 07:45:00 GMT |
Road trippin |
I havent worked since September 2008 and I have been getting by on my student loans and good looks (mainly the loans). I had a whopping 100 dollars in the bank naturally I decided to go on a cross co...
Posted by on Tue, 07 Apr 2009 08:07:00 GMT |
Urinal debates |
I want to be famous so bad that it hurts. My stomach gets in knots because I get so anxious about the thought of performing stand up in front of crowds in different cities. This September will be my t...
Posted by on Thu, 12 Mar 2009 20:20:00 GMT |
Bustin Balls |
When a comedian makes fun of a comedian that was onstage before him it's very frustrating. The reason is the comedian who just got off stage has no chance for a comeback. I enjoy joking around and bei...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Feb 2009 07:44:00 GMT |
Annoying things |
Things I hateAbout college:All the idiots that ride BMX bikes. They are way too big for the bikes and they look so stupid it thoroughly annoys me. Grow up and buy a bike that is more proportionate to ...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Feb 2009 13:10:00 GMT |
Inappropriate places to poop |
In no particular order:The cologne dispenser in Westland malls bathroom.Ice boxes outside of gas stations.Birthday presents.The holy water at Catholic church.Peoples laps.Peoples plates at a restauran...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Jan 2009 10:10:00 GMT |
I'll have an American dozen |
An American dozen is 30. Usually a 30 pack of Busch Light. I decided that if bakers can have their own dozen why not America? Also...I am so desensitized to porn it's crazy. In middle schoo...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Jan 2009 11:07:00 GMT |
I am the best comedian alive... |
that is not true. However if rap has taught me anything it is to be very boastful and arrogant and if I say I am the best ever enough times people will start to believe it. For example:Jay Z on the so...
Posted by on Wed, 07 Jan 2009 09:40:00 GMT |
