Jingles!!! profile picture

Jingles!!!

I am going to bring seXy back to rock 'n' roll some day....you watch!!

About Me

THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME AND READING ME!!
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Hello,First and foremost I want to thank you for taking time out of your busy day and reading this. Remember that when you come out on the other side of the “ABOUT ME” section and on into the “I’D LIKE TO MEET” section you will not only have lost your time but you will be much, much dumber than you were before reading this. That being said enjoy:
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My name is Jonathan Maxwell Van Slander the 1st. I am somewhere between 29 and 31 years of age, for fun we will call me 23. I am a fun and fat loving guy (or was that fat and fun loving) that owns a chunk of a bar in the Ligonier/Donegal area of Pennsylvania. It’s a good time for now. When I go out I drink beer and do shots both of those will be the death of me. When I die I want to live life again but this time I want to do it backwards, feeling better every day and then ending my life as an orgasm.
I went to college and even high school but never finished. I was and still am a very unpopular guy and would like to try to keep it that way. Drama free is for me but I like my friends to have a lot….that’s why I am always hanging out with girls. I used to be skinny but now am fat one day I might be skinny again but who knows if I can ever pay for the surgery. When I try to be funny no one laughs but when I am for real everyone thinks I am funny.
The world is not yet ready for me but one day I will strike. I used to believe in soul mates until they all cheated. I feel there is something and someone for everyone……but why just settle for one. Your girlfriend/boyfriend should not be your best friend because when you need to bitch about that person who will you go too, or when he/she leaves you do you have to find a new best friend or ask your old one back? If a girl sleeps with 100 guys she is a whore, but when a guy does it he is nothing. My question is what if you are the guy that sleeps with no one what can he be???
More than anything I hate guys that hit women, they are lower than whale shit and that’s at the bottom of the ocean. I don’t understand why girls go back and let it happen again though, that makes me real mad too. I like to think I am old fashioned but not like an antique….kind of like vanilla ice cream (that shit has been around for ever and still rocks)!!
I do still buy flowers and open car doors, but only so I can close the door on my dates dress so it rips when she leans over to unlock my door. Guys don’t open the door much anymore, but then again girls don’t like guys that do even though they say they like them. Also, girls, when a guy opens the car door for you lean over and unlock his door. If its an automatic lock wait till he goes to get in and lock his door. Its always the little things in life. Guys, send a girl flowers at her work use proflowers.com or call a local guy, but get them sent. For that one day that girl is the “big deal” at her place of employment ( SHES A BIG DEAL!!!)and it makes her feel good for the whole day. In my case they get scared of me and run away.
I love my family but not enough to see them all the time. Music makes me feel and I like to feel everything. I love to cuddle but not while I am asleep, who would remember anyhow. I write poetry all the time if you want to read it check out my blogs. I talk to much but most people are cool with never saying anything and silence makes me want to punch myself in the face. I have tattoos and I will get more, but not in a place that people will see them if I don’t want you to see them. I sing, play the violin, and drums. But you should hear me play the tuba its terrible. That’s it I have taken up too much of your time sorry……
K-ByeJonathan "Jingles"
I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany...
I edited my layout at Bigoo.ws , check out these Myspace Layouts!

My Interests

I like going to bars but I only drink water……but beer tastes good

I like smoking but I never light up…….they are bad for you I guess

I like going on dates but I never go anywhere…….girls frighten me.

I like to run but I can’t find my running shoes…….I can’t even tie a shoe.

I like to go to church but Jesus loves everyone……..me too.

I like to watch TV but can’t find the controller……must be in the couch.

I like to kiss in the rain but I have a big enough umbrella…..and it’s me standing in the rain.

I like to play sports but people play them for me…..and their paid for it too.

I like driving my JEEP but I have no gas…..it’s real expensive.

I like to spoon but I am a fork……square peg triangle hole.

I like to write but I have no paper……Walmart is so far away.

I like to be the best but always finish last……nice guy I figure.

I like to think I’m ugly but I know I’m cute……that’s what they say.

I like to trust but people can’t……so I can’t.

I like to hang out but everyone stays in……50 cent drafts anyone, no.

I like to play pool but never make a ball…….high or low.

I like to make people laugh but I’m not that funny……looking perhaps.

K-Bye

I'd like to meet:

I have met some of the best people a man could ever ask to meet. I fear no one and I am sure that I will meet a bunch more. Anytime I want to meet some one I walk right up to them and say “HI”. If that doesn’t work I do a little dance in front of them, usually it’s a dance like you would see Carlton do on the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” and that always works. Fat guy dancing like a retard gets them every time : )

If you want to get to know me send me a message and just don’t ask to be my friend I will deny you (unless I know you already) This myspace thing is funny and passes a lot of my time but its not life nor life like for that matter. I’m as friendly as a Cabbage Patch Doll so don’t be scared...........

Music:

Show tunes

Movies:

Chick Flicks

Television:

Will and Grace

Books:

Moby Dick

Heroes:

Jesus is my home boy.

My Blog

Poem: Every Year

Every Year   By: Jonathan Maxwell Van Slander   With every year life seems less fair, Think then act continue to care; Being afraid to fall, will never suffice, Be careful when taking others...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Sat, 01 Jul 2006 01:58:00 PST

Poem: To Really See

First off sorry I am about 12 hours late on posting this poem.  I was out late last night. This is a poem I just found and got to thinking.  I should listen to myself more often when it come...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Tue, 16 May 2006 09:39:00 PST

Poem: Energy and Time

This is a poem I wrote a little while back in the year.  I owe this one to a great person that helped me think while I was writing this.  They know who they are...thank you!!   Energy a...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Mon, 01 May 2006 10:49:00 PST

Poem: This Father

Here we are again, another 15th.  This poem is one that I like a lot.  One of my best friends in this world's father passed away last Sunday.  He was a great man and his son (my friend)...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Sat, 15 Apr 2006 03:08:00 PST

Poem: "What Can't Be Might Be"

What Can't Be Might Be   By: Jonathan Maxwell Van Slander   Looking up laying down I sit alone, Darkness files this empty home. No tear to fall for I can't feel sad, But still somehow this t...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Sat, 01 Apr 2006 09:54:00 PST

Poem: "Bother"

This poem is one that I wrote to a girl that I almost married back in 2001 or Early 2002.  She turned out to be a cheat and a whore.  So I wrote her this love filled poem.  I hope you a...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 12:41:00 PST

Poem: For you My Friend

    For you my Friend By Jonathan Van Slander   I still haven't found what I am looking for, As in the end we shut the door. For you my friend I give you this, The never ending eternal ...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Thu, 02 Mar 2006 06:29:00 PST

Poem "Awakening"

So I have decided to put up a poem on the 1st and the 15th of every month.  I have so many old ones yet to be put up and a bunch that I just wrote and a few still in the making.  I don't fe...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Wed, 15 Feb 2006 11:14:00 PST

Poem: Ponder this Girl

I think I did this on a real drunk night a few years back.  I am thinking of starting to put a poem on here ever 1st and 15th not just the 1st.  But I have to have proof that peopel are read...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Wed, 01 Feb 2006 12:52:00 PST

Shooting Star (Poem)

This is my first of many poems that I will be putting on here.  If you like it cut and paste it and do with it what you like (with in copywriting laws).  Just tell me what you think first.&...
Posted by Jingles!!! on Mon, 02 Jan 2006 05:35:00 PST