Nyrat

No seriously. I know you're only here because you have this desperate inclination to hook up with someone who was going through that awkward pre-puberty stage at about the time you were born. I know, I know... age differences are hot. Especially decades. Decades make everybody horny. Even your parents. ESPECIALLY your parents. Just ask them! They approve of your lust for me and they haven't even met me yet. I'm just that awesome.
Unfortunately for your plans of crazy monkeysex, I lost my penis in the great cola war of '86. It's sad I know, but it's okay because while you were busy cooking up your plan to hit on some old guy you found on the internets, I was coming up with a plan of my own. Basically you run around doing whatever it is that young people do these days, and I sit in my window and glare at everything. Occasionally I'll lean out and yell something at you that ends in the phrase "BY CRACKY!" As in "GET OFF THE GRASS, BY CRACKY!" or "YOU DRESS LIKE A WHORE! AND I KINDA LIKE IT, BY CRACKY!
Our love will surely echo through the ages, me being grumpy and old and you... keeping my penis in a mayonaise jar full of embalming fluid. For ever and ever.
I'm not really here to try to hook up. I'm not here to hit on anyone. I'm here because... uh... because I'm desperate for attention from Newscorp, owners of Myspace. I'll do anything to get their approval. Even maintain a profile here. I LOVE YOU NEWSCORP! I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIEEEEEEESSS!
Hail Xenu!