so im julia im horibble.my life is acid trips and morphine drips and im real i have feelings and thoughts. im off to a slow start.
i want to make memories.
but all of a sudden the months have blurred by.
its like i skipped ahead and missed it all.
dont let it happen again.our hips crashed like we used to do to parties.i can always count on this city's lights to twinkle on.
and off.
nothing steals the magic from writing the way writing about it does.
but i can't help but have it spin through my head as i read "the old man and the sea" over and over again.
following two plane crashes in africa.
the old man is just an old man.
the fish are just fish.
and the sharks are just sharks.
even in this context i dream of it no less.
this maybe the closest to love that i ever get.
i hate grammar. i hate spell check.
they are tools and trades we focus on when the right words escape us.
while we can use them in a world that we write, where we make our own rules.
they can rob a piece of its life.
for me words are more of a compulsion.
it is involuntary.
it falls in the catagory of breathing and the beating of the heart.
sometimes i want to throw my hands up.
to wave the white flag.
to apologize for everything i havent done yet.
but usually i want to forget the pictures and the rumors.
to become a recollection, a shared memory. visually: a faint, sentimental face that blurs into the background of everything.
to watch all of the magazines turn to static.
and only be thought of by the clicking of these keys.its a shot in the dark.
but every girl has got to dream, right?on my best day, when all the planets have aligned, i still couldnt come close to touching you.
fireworks stand for whoever i am thinking about and whatever i am wishing for right now
julia is a zombie[elite][rf][Av][lp][vip]
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