blodflow

I have problems with my journal, so for those of you who read it I'm not going to use www.stateofhome.com anymore.. so there's the new link:
www.stateofhome.blogspot.com (just bookmark it or something, so you don't have to remember it.. )
I'll be using this as my new journal, so if you're ever curious what's up with me that's one way to find out.

there is no-one left in the world that i can hold onto
there is really no-one left at all there is only you
and if you leave me now
you leave all that we were undone
there is really no-one left you are the only one
and still the hardest part for you to put your trust in me
i love you more than i can say why won't you just believe?

I'm going to the place I've always dreamt of.. it's a quiet little place in a forest, deep and beautiful where the green is so much that you don't really know which direction to take. I had expectations, I always do and now it's not that quiet and peaceful anymore. Do you sometimes dream of undulations, your body swimming in the air and you feel it on your skin, so gentle that you're afraid to open your eyes. I close my eyes and I think of it, I swim and it feels so good, I don't feel my arms or legs.. and I don't want to open my eyes because I know that the calm I have over control now will disappear and I'll be back to the same point I was when I started. Then comes the rain on my face, it's ok because I don't mind. How long is it going to last this time? Probably more than the last time, I'm starting to feel it now and it's beginning to feel irritating.

I open my eyes, but can't move. So here I am again, exactly where I used to be. What was all that for? I just needed it to forget and I did, what an escape, it feels so good. Beauty is something you can never explain, all of us do the exact same things every day.. sleep in a little death, and every day you wake up you start it all over again.. but you're still the same person. Everybody wants to be different and unique, in any different kinds of way. Some will appreciate it, others won't, but actually who cares. Probably you. You might be a wonderful person, and? As long as you can be seen, you're a glass and you shine. This is probably the time you'll never forget, it's all about you after all, or at least that's what you think.

CLOSER (my top one), Match Point (luck, my friend), Alfie (guys who won't settle down), Girl Interrupted (i like this one mostly because of the book), Dead End (it's hilarious, I never get tired of it), Shrek 2 (still the best 3d animation), Scary movie (all but I find myself watching the 2nd one more often), Crash...

Please don't write me messages telling me how much you wanna fuck me or whatever you guys hide in your big heads. Nobody cares about your sexual needs, especially people who don't even know you. And for the real smart ones maybe you should try another tactics, like trying to seduce the girl before fucking her, you'll find out the girls are much more likely to give in when you don't only mention how horny you are, you know.

Unfortunately, I'm not looking for a boyfriend or fuck buddy, whatever you want to call it. I'm kind of tired of all I cant imagine my life without you and then leave you stuff, so I think its time for me to just enjoy life without a wood standing next to me for nothing. Other than that, I don't mind talking to you. I can be really nice to people who are nice to me, here goes the cliche but if you respect me.. that's what you'll get in return. If you try to push my buttons though, I'm not even going to waste my time with you. I've had plenty of freaks that never need to settle down and just put their pants up for once. I'm sick of you, so once again.. if you're just going to write fuck my badly stuff you'll be blocked and never have the chance to really fuck me. Isn't that a shame? (smart move, now fuck off and die)

Just keep breathing for me, keep on breathing baby
It feels so good to be alive it's a beautiful world
We got so much to do
This life is a grace
The sky ever blue
Such a wonderful day
Forget all your sorrow and come out to play
And we slip and we slide
Two drowning souls collide
We live for today

He's so adorable, don't you just wanna squeeze.... his ears!

www.stateofhome.com