....You Know You're Brazilian When....
You didn't know anything about bills until you came to the US.You still wear speedos to the beach or pool!You like Guarana better than Coke.If someone tells you to be at a certain place at 1:00 pm, you don't show up until 2:30 or 3:00 p.m.You know who Xuxa and Pele are.Your entire family goes to grandma's house on Sundays for a big family get together....even when you guys see each other everyday.You can name at least 30 novelas and 10000 actors/actresses.BBQ means steak, sausage, chicken wings, pork, rice, farofa, molho and beer.You are the loudest person in the room.You got a Brazilian flag hanging from your car's rearview mirror.You travel to Brazil and instead of taking a suitcase with all your stuff, you take presents for the entire family, the dog, the neighbor, not to mention the old/used clothes that you take just in case someone needs it.You live in Florida, New York, New Jersey, or Massachusetts.You leave your house spotless when you have people coming over.An ideal woman is a woman with small breasts and a big butt.You understand & speak Spanish, but when you say a word in Portuguese no one understands you.You can dance.Your jokes are always about Portuguese people.You take soccer too seriously.You go to a birthday party,and you can't leave until you take that piece of cake home.You know what Capoeira is.You know a lot about Samba and Pagode.You've studied the history of almost every country.You eat rice and beans at least 7 days a week.Your breakfast consists of milk and coffee, bread with butter,and a piece of cake.Everyone thinks you're everything but Brazilian.You know who Os Trapalhoes, Turma da Monica, Zico, Caetano Veloso, Tom Jobim, Elis Regina, Ronaldinho, Jo Soares, Cazuza, Gilberto Gil, Silvio Santos, Roberto Carlos, Ayrton Senna, amd Carmem Miranda are.You go to a bar and ask for salgadinhos with guarana.You are so used to corruption that nothing surprises you anymore.You know how to play dominoes and cards.You dont care about raceor color. And once you come to the US, you realize what racism means.You have a sense of fashion.You wear slippers..a lot!You know how to play volleyball and handball.You always taking pictures everywhere you go.You know what it's like to buy liquor without an ID.You know how to party, and if the party isnt over after 5am...its not a party!Any holiday...being it official or not, is an excuse to stay home from work and take a week vacation.You know what feijoada and pave are.Your favorite drink is Caipirinha.You dress up to go to the supermarket.You spend a entire day at the beach.You are too friendly.You're proud to be Brazilian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Brazilian friends!I am Brazilian :
Lessons I have learned in life:* Hating people takes too much energy and isn't worth your time. Let others waste their time with negativity, but you be above that type of behavior.* I have realized that no matter HOW hard you try, you cannot make EVERYONE around you happy. But the ones who know and love you for who you are are the only ones that count!!* People who dwell on things are usually those who aren't genuiunely happy about anything, and probably never will be satisfied.* There are people who will hate you for irrational and unjustified reasons, no matter who you are.* Don't act like a spoiled brat.* Failing at something just gains you more experience to apply the next time around.... sooner or later, you will succeed.* Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.* Dont complain all the time, there is always someone who has it a lot worse than you.* There's nothing wrong with being a Daddy's Girl.* Be yourself. Don't be fake, and don't lie.* Have a conscience.* Just because you haven't found the right one yet, doesn't mean he/she doesn't exist.* You teach people how to treat you.* God likes naked people...remember that.* Don't cheat on people cause it's just embarrassing and the lowest thing you can do.* It doesn't matter if you're ugly or pretty; just don't be a bitch and act like you're better than others; you're not.* Be independent.* When your car is super loud, it doesn't make it cool, it makes it super annoying.* Life is too short to be petty.* Realize sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it too.* Don't try to be someone that you are not.* Don't hesitate to make someone smile and sacrifice yourself for the happiness of others!* Don't take other people's stuff.* De-friending people is one of the most childish actions ever.* Sometimes friends will be insensitive to you, or hurt your feelings, or make fun of you. Laugh it off. Most likely you have done the same to them without realizing it.... Life's too short to be a whiny bitch. It's never worth "ending a friendship" over. Of course, sometimes its better for you if they are the drama queen that does. Less hassle for you; don't have to deal with a toxic person anymore.* Don't go into a relationship assuming you will change the other person.* Don't treat those you supposidly "love" like shit; they deserve your best not your worst.* Don't be a hypocrite.* People will believe just about anything, so don't be like this; try logic and rationality first.* Tell your girlfriends they look beautiful.* Love others the way you want to be loved.* Don't buy your friends.* Don't worry about what other people think of you.* Don't try to get people to pitty you; it's just weakminded.* Remember to tell your grandparents you love them.* Don't throw pitty parties for yourself when you're the only one to blame.* Don't be rude.* Do not make excuses for your mistakes; learn from them and move forward.* Be happy for others when things go their way and be there them when it doesn't.* Don't chew loud or talk with your mouth full, it's super annoying and gross.* Learn how to say you're sorry.* Don't just listen to ONE type of music, it's boring.* Build a personality instead of obsessing about your weight or your looks, everyone's looks will eventually turn to dirt.* Have a sense of humor.* Don't focus your goals around money; money doesn't fill a void in anyones heart.* Don't expect your girl/boy to always do everything the way you want.* Have remorse for wronging others.* Learn to live with little annoyances.* Being dirty builds immunities.* Never pass up a chance to forgive a friend.* If you lie to yourself long enough you start to believe it... this is a dangerous thing so avoid doing so!!* Don't disrespect yourself by allowing others to treat you like crap.* Don't stay in relationships just because it's convenient.* Realize that you are not perfect... but no one else is either.* True friends can go years without talking, and then have a conversation like it's only been a day.* Don't make up excuses for the dumb things your boyfriend/girlfriend does.* Don't settle for less that you deserve... which is the best.* Don't do drugs, they just screw you up worse than you already are.* Smile a lot and always have a positive attitude.* Love conquers all.* Do what makes you happy... and laugh a lot..... DON'T BE SO SERIOUS!!!* Don't forget about your girls!* Try to find laughter and humor in everything.* Love everyone and don't judge others or be jealous of anyone else.* Don't forget about your family, they are important and will always stick by you; don't take advantage of that.* Don't be mean unless someone is mean to you first! And even then.... TRY not to be....it will just be harder.* Making your own money is so much more rewarding then getting it from someone else.* Don't be afraid to say NO to someone.* Remember that only you can change yourself.* You are not responsible for someone elses actions but you are for your reaction to them.
* If someone is mean to you let it go, some relationships aren't meant to be.* Trying to validate your bad choices doesn't help you learn.* Jealousy is not a flattering color for anyone.* The world doesn't revolve around you so don't assume everything is about you; most likely it's not.* Find what you love, and then find a way to get paid for it!!!* If you don't like something about your life, change it.* Don't be afraid to get older, it happens to the best of them!* It can be funny when your friends are mean to someone who's been mean to you.* Learn from your mistakes and from the mistakes of others.* Some people never grow out of their pettiness.* You don't have to be best friends with everyone, but you can be decently nice to people around you.* Don't change anything you would normally do, for anyone!* Don't validate yourself by what others say.* People who point out the bad instead of the good are toxic people, don't hang around them too much they eventually will wear you down.* Don't be ashamed of the person you love! A cat can fall 6 stories to concrete and live.* Don't let idiots get you down or change your awesome attitude.....* There are no rules when it comes to love.* Vandalizing others property is a weak and embarrassing way to attempt to prove you are tough.* Like my good friend said "Good things will happen to good people and bad things wil happen to bad people".* And for crying out loud.... Don't be ashamed to get down on your knees once in a while and humble yourself before your creator. A stronger person that can admit they need help; a fool tries to walk the path alone.
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Auntie Mystery
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