About Me
about me:
Yahoo:
xxlovexhateingxyouxx
@yahoo.com
Msn:
Keen_Kimberly_Phobia
@hotmail.com
Aol:
Kimberleesxdream
@aol.com
Pronounces by: Kimberly; prefers Kimberly. Yet others are too lazy enough to say it fully. Therefore, im known as Kim. I'm seventeen, ill be legal in nearly four months from now. I no longer party hardy, drink, or stay out late every night like i use to. If i do attempt to drink, its not going to be without Jonathan and it wont be very often. I'll drink occasionally if its a good cause, if not then i wont at all. I find no fun in doing such, anymore. Im not going to say, "im trying to quit smoking" because i know for a fact, im not. But i can say," I will stop sometime soon before i graduate this year from school." I no longer claim any best friends, and such. Everyone's just my associates and id rather keep it that way. I no longer have patience for anyone or anything. I'll do as i please, with the thought of right and wrongs. If i dont know you now, then it must be your not important enough. Well, enough said. I'm kim, once again :]
It's wednesday july 2 of 2009. Ive never felt so debilitated in a relationship as i do now. I have done terrible things in the past to you and some things that I have been able to apologize for. Unfortunately, the guilt still lingers inside of me and continues to eat me up. I keep worrying about the "What If's" and it tears me up more than it should. I've spent many nights wishing I had done things differently, or that I hadn't done certain things that resulted in an outcome i'm not sure was and to what I would have ultimately wanted. I cant change what ive done, i cant change the decisions ive made, but i do know i can make a/this change now. Im not the type of person, to repeatily do the things i once did several months ago. Im the type of person whos grown independently to respect how you feel and to think of you in everything i do. You've done me just as wrong as ive done you. Yet, i can see how much more time it would take you to recover from this than how it has for me. All we can do is focus on the now. What do we accomplish? What can we possibly hope to accomplish? By reliving those things again and again? Ive been feeling too tired, weary, fatigued, frazzled, exhausted, drained, worn out, tuckered out, bushed, beat, winded, haggard, and damn spent all because of the fact you cant stop living in the past. You have to live day by day, and not just for the yesterdays. How is this possible? I wish you would look past what ive done to you, and search for what ive done for you. I will admit, i did treat you dysphoricly, but even still this was several months ago. Recently, ive done alot for you. We suffer, only because you cannot find yourself as forgiving me. To forgive, is something that takes alot of benefit. Yet, it is possible if you wish too. Jonathan, set your mind free, please. I'm not here to hurt again nor to disrespect how you feel. Im entirely yours, and that is a promise. The only benefit of doubt is, i refuse to stay if your going to continue the break ups and get back togethers. This is too witless and i wont stand for it. If you have any lacking stability, confidence, assurance or self-doubt. Talk to me impertinently about it. I'll always be here to listen to you. Just forgive me and let me avow to learn from yesterday and make today and tomorrow yours, truly and authentically. I love you.
It is always a difficult situation when something you thought could really be worth investing in is all of sudden ripped from you for perhaps foolish reasons. Everyone hopes to find that thing in someone what makes them the one that will fulfill the emptiness that is inherent within all of us. We search and search and finally someone comes around that could change everything but unfortunately it doesn't work out for whatever reason. The frustration builds and your left wondering "Will this ever end?" It's tough. We are all searching. He couldn't handle who you were. The intricate aspects of your behavior. Better to understand that now. Sometimes having everything in common isn't all that is needed. Sometimes understanding, accepting and forgiveness mean more in the long run...
'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.'
