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My name is Brody (for those who do not know me) and I currently work for the Roane County News as a "stringer" in the sports department. It's the coolest job I've ever had! Granted, hardly anyone knows I work for the paper (outside of the O.S. people because I do admittedly pull for them more than any other team in Roane County.) but those who know me either think I'm nuts, hilarious, or both. I am currently unattatched at the moment but I'm not in any big hurry to head to the altar or anything like that. I also am a die-hard Baltimore Orioles fan, a Raiders fan, Tennessee Basketball fan, a Kasey Kahne fan, and a Louisville Cardinals football fan. I'm also a very well-educated wrestling fan and I would rather watch quality WRESTLING (i.e. TNA, ROH, IWA:Mid-South, NWA Anarchy, Big Japan, Hustle, Dragon Gate, and CZW) over watching "Donald Trump" and "Rosie O'Donnell" wrestle (i.e. WWE) plus I'm really big on UFC and PRIDE. I also pretty much listen to programs on the radio like JT The Brick's sports show and The Third Shift On Fox with Jorge Sedano. I guess I'm a pretty bland person by most standards but if people actually get to know me, they seem to like me for whatever reason. If anyone ever wants to talk sports or wrestling with me, hit me up on AIM at RCSportsStringer (I'm usually on AIM 99% of the time when I talk to people ...) or on MSN, it's [email protected].
Now for the random Brody Jones facts. (Well, they're Chuck Norris facts actually, but you get the idea.)
When Brody calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Brody once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Brody likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
There are no races, only countries of people Brody has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Brody was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Brody can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Brody-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Brody falls in water, Brody doesn't get wet. Water gets Brody.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1BRhK (Brody Roundhouse Kick)
Brody's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
When Brody has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
Brody doesn't actually write articles, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Brody, all McDonald's in Tennessee have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Brodysized.
Brody CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Brody roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Brody can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Brody has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Brody is worth 1 billion words.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Brody roundhouse kick.
Brody invented his own type of karate. It's called Brody-Will-Kill.
While urinating, Brody is easily capable of welding titanium.
Brody once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Brody talks, everybody listens. And dies.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Brody kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Brody calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Brody to go around.
Brody doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Brody is Brody.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Brody, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Brody always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Brody" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Brody invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Brody, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Brody has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On his birthday, Brody randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Brody.
Brody doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Brody throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Brody Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Brody has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Brody grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Brody"
Brody ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Brody and Johnny D walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
If you Google search "Brody getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Brody can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Little known medical fact: Brody invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Brody doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Brody. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
It takes Brody 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Brody will find you and kill you.
Brody has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Brody's Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Brody lives in Wartburg.
Brody doesn't believe in Germany.
When Brody is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Brody once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Brody to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Brody can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago Brody came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Brody played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Brody smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Brody has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Brody 3. Cancer
Brody drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Brody is my Homeboy.
Brody doesn't go hunting.... BRODY GOES KILLING
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Brody.
Brody doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Brody has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Brody.
Brody does not sleep. He waits.
Brody is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Brody is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Brody counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Brody's beard. There is only another fist.
When Brody does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Brody is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Brody’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Brody was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Brody can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Brody doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Brody gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Brody can slam a revolving door.
Brody does not get frostbite. Brody bites frost
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Brotatorship.
Which indy wrestler are you?
?
Low Ki
You're Low Ki, the quiet, though intense, Rottweiler. It would be hard to imagine a smile or a laugh form you, it might crack your face. Master of the Ki Crusher '99 and the Dragon Clutch, you're the kind of guy that people are legitimately scared of.
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