Copious amounts of crossword puzzles and sudoku, writing weird plays for my friends to be in, mannequins, old men, small dogs, bad watercolor paintings, submitting hilarious captions to the New Yorker, Super-8 movies, taking it to the streets.
Rachelle, Rococo Coke Hobo
I like it!
Knuckle Face Jones
I no longer knows my friends from my foes amidst this disruptive nomenclature.So I tell my woes to the robins and crows who laugh with their tongues on my furniture.
Is Bankus Moroney not the world’s most flexible man? Yes. Can Bankus Moroney not hold his breath for several days at a time? Can he not see through cement walls? Can he not cure disease with the mereliest touch of his hand? Yes! What I want to know, people, is if it’s really true that Bankus Moroney once built a real live horse from scratch? Is it really true that he carries millions of dollars of diamonds underneath his skin to hide them from the Chinese mafia? Tell me, please, that it’s true that Bankus Moroney once walked from the north pole to the south pole with only a bottle of stale water and a cardboard pizza box to keep him alive? It’s true! What else? He can sing every theme song to every television show ever made! He makes really good cinnamon rolls. No! Well, yes. When he was nineteen he married Anne Bancroft, Rip Torn and Alan Alda in Las Vegas! He taught himself how to perform open heart surgery by practicing on his mother! And he invented the cotton gin! Don’t. Ever. Forget.