They call me fingers galore because I have fingers galore. I'm Known for things, especially the one's that I do. I like things sometimes. I've been known to slip arsenic cookies but that's only because your face offends me. Sometimes I eat food and I like it... it tastes good. I also enjoy the occasional snifter of port at Christmas. I have a family, they are people. I hate hippies, I hate them so goddamn much. My dog is permanently stuck in the push-up position. I hate doctor Phil, almost as much as I hate hippies. Political satire makes me horny. I usually only listen to music that I like. I will however, watch television that pisses me off. I'm a big fan of commas, you know? Sometimes I write like a five year old. My writing can be aloof and stray from the point but that's your problem. I use my cell phone as an alarm clock because I'm good like that. I probably should have put a comma in that last sentence. People that spell L1k3 T81S P1ss m3 ThE FuCk oFf! So do people that talk like that. Prostitutes should be legal because they're good people, so are lepers. Dr. Pepper is so good. I wear clothes when I leave the house sober so people won't recognize me. Jack Daniels is the only acceptable hard liquor, unless it's mixed with cranberry juice then it must be Kettle One. New Castle is the best beer, there will be no arguments. Larry the Cable Guy is funny simply because he exists. I've been known to exist from time to time. The best way to pick up women is to go shoe shopping, trust me. Sometimes I laugh just to see if people will join me. It's fun to switch dialects in the middle of a conversation and see if anyone notices. I'm in love with cigarettes and alcohol and I know they love me back because you alway hurt the ones you love. That may have been the corniest thing I have ever said. I just took the number 7 spot on my all time most hated people list. I whole heartedly support the death penalty. Live spelled backwards is eviL, ergo it is evil to live. My logic is flawless, like my face. Self Five! Scrubs is the greatest tv show ever made and is in no way over rated... Like Van Halen. I like punk music. I hate country music more then I hate doctor Phil. I hate people that listen to country music more then I hate country music. Hicks make me violently angry. Bruce Willis is a sexy man. I play games some times, they entertain me. I may or may not be bored. Sometimes I sit outside of boxes and think to promote brilliant ideas. I guarantee you I miss spelled something in this rant. I have the spelling capabilities of a second grader. A wise man once told me that everyone is always were they are. A completely different wise man once told me that English is English. Sometimes things taken out of context make absolutely no sense. Like your face! The fact that the "guys gone wiled" commercial wasn't a joke still astonishes me. Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Sometimes I put on womens perfume and ask random people if I smell pretty. I may or may not get my ass kicked on a regular basis. Now seriously, why the fuck did you just read that?
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Mike
Birthday: 11/06/1982
Birthplace: Hospital
Current Location: Earth
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Human
The Shoes You Wore Today: adidas
Your Weakness: An inflated sense of self worth
Your Fears: Being Afraid
Your Perfect Pizza: Hawian
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get back in school
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Word
Thoughts First Waking Up: *YAWN*
Your Best Physical Feature: Man Boobs
Your Bedtime: Random
Your Most Missed Memory: Highschool
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: MacDonalds
Single or Group Dates: I prefer raisins
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Arizona Green Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: mmmm Chanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Do you Smoke: Yes
Do you Swear: To what?
Do you Sing: Like a retarded deaf cat
Do you Shower Daily: more then once usually
Have you Been in Love: maybe
Do you want to go to College: yes
Do you want to get Married: Dosn't matter
Do you belive in yourself: Always
Do you get Motion Sickness: Never
Do you think you are Attractive: More like dead sexy
Are you a Health Freak: If Alcohol and nicotine is good for you then yes
Do you get along with your Parents: eh
Do you like Thunderstorms: love em
Do you play an Instrument:
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: In Excess
In the past month have you Smoked: yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I just said i smoke and drink, silly redundent questions
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Nah
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes, love it
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: Not that i remember
Ever been called a Tease: All the time, i'm a big prude
Ever been Beaten up: Of course
Ever Shoplifted: Yes
How do you want to Die: Murdered by Midgets
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A drifter
What country would you most like to Visit: England
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Green
Favourite Hair Color: Black
Short or Long Hair: Long
Height:
Weight:
Best Clothing Style: Like I Care
Number of Drugs I have taken: 90,000
Number of CDs I own: idk like 100
Number of Piercings: 0
Number of Tattoos: 2
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 0
