~Juicy Contusion~ profile picture

~Juicy Contusion~

I won't tell, if you don't tell

About Me

I work too f*kin' much, go to school, and still find time to party like a rockstar!!! Oh yea, I'm a blocker for the D-Funk Allstars roller derby team in Detroit. Take a bite of that and choke on it!

My Interests

DETROIT ROLLER DERBY!!!Rollersk8ting, canoeing, fishing, camping, reading, drinkin', and carrying on.

Music:

Motorhead, Blondie, Cibo Matto, Beastie Boys, 12 Tech Mob, Rapeman, Alice Cooper, Operation Ivy, Clutch, Frank Zappa, Dead Milkmen,Raw Power, Clutch, Social Distortion, Ramones, Johhny Cash, GWAR, Amino Acids, Skinny Puppy, Gorrillaz

Movies:

Any truly gory or cheesy horror movie!!! Night Of the LIving Dead, Exorcist, Amityville Horror, Fight Club, KIll BIll, Lost Boys, Breakfast Club, the Heathers, FOXY BROWN, Devils Rejects, Just about any Porn

Television:

Forensic Files, Investigative Reports, City Confidential, Autopsy,Reno 911, Chapelle Show

Books:

Issac Asimovs Book of Facts, Killer women, Gray's Anatomy, Any True Crime Novel, Cookbooks

Heroes:

Pam Grier, Linda Hamilton

My Blog

Get your tickets!!!

Next bout August 19th at the Masonic Temple:  Detroit Pistoffs vs. Devils Night Dames Ticktes available: Your favorite derby girl Danny's Irish pub in Ferndale Norther Lights Lounge in Detro...
Posted by ~Juicy Contusion~ on Wed, 26 Jul 2006 11:35:00 PST

You know your a Derby girl when............

1. your pants are suddenly a little snug in the butt and thighs.2. you're very proud of your bruises and show them off to all of your friends workers while they stare at you and wonder if they should ...
Posted by ~Juicy Contusion~ on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 08:13:00 PST

Drerby Friends vs. The Others

    Difference between THOSE OTHER friends and DERBY friendsTHOSE OTHER FRIENDS: Bring over food to share.DERBY FRIENDS: are the reason you have no food, but a lifetime supply of jello shot...
Posted by ~Juicy Contusion~ on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 08:08:00 PST

How to date a Derby girl.......

Rules to dating a roller girl.... Category: Sports These are rules to live by guys if you want to date us rollergirls. This will avoid any false hope and lots of arguments/team breakups.1 - MEN CANNO...
Posted by ~Juicy Contusion~ on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 08:03:00 PST

This is how Roller Derby works

basics
Posted by ~Juicy Contusion~ on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 07:55:00 PST

Quad Sk8ting

  Things you may not know about Quad-SKATING Current mood: happy An individual can burn 305 calories in one hour by skating 6 mph. If the skater increases the speed to 10 mph for one hour, ...
Posted by ~Juicy Contusion~ on Mon, 15 May 2006 11:08:00 PST

What every patient should know.....

When you fart into the bedpan, as we are inserting or removing it from your bottom, the pan acts like a wind tunnel swooshing your hot rancid air directly towards us.  Uusually as we are inh...
Posted by ~Juicy Contusion~ on Mon, 15 May 2006 10:36:00 PST

Did you know....

Did you know..... Famous Magician Giovanni Bartolomeo Bosco (Italy  1793) would behead two pigeons and put each body in a container with the head of the oppositebird.  Later he would remove ...
Posted by ~Juicy Contusion~ on Sat, 14 Jan 2006 11:40:00 PST