I have decided that 2009 I will start seeing the world! ok, so no Mexico this year! but Canada will be cool too!!other places I would like to someday see: Mexican Riviera!! France (Paris), Peru (Matchu Pitchu) & Italy (Florence & Tuscany) Spain (Barcelona) & California! I love the mountains, but can be a happy clam on the beach too! Champagne & Strawberries on a balcony in Monterey Hell yea! (BIG ROMANTIC here, if you don't like romance, you're missing the good stuff!).... 2009 is also the year that my dreams seem to be coming true, one at a time. I recently moved back to Merced, and in the beginning it was not a good thing, things spiraled out of control.. that lost feeling you get when too many things cave in on you at once. The darkness I had left behind found me again, not really the same demons, but just as bad, of course pretty much do to the fact that If you remain idle, anything can find you again. There were days that seemed to never end. But with the love of my family, my closest friends, my faith in God (and my music) and being able to recognize that things were only going to get worse, I put it all back in to perspective, being what most consider a strong man, it's hard to admit defeat, If it was not for those that came to my side I'm not sure what would have transpired. (Mom, Lorrie, Cindy, Marilyn, Ruby, Randy & Letty! thanks for always answering the phone, even late at night! LOL!) But now 5 months later and a new year I know I am exactly where I need to be for now (Thanks again Randy!). My mom needed me and there's nothing I would'nt do for her, we only get one mom & pop! I see things much clearer and understand he will reveal his plan for me if I accept it. Lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him & he shall direct thy paths (thanks Marilyn). My favorite proverb. The things I still believe are never give anyone the power to control your heart, trust I know of where I speak LOL! I do believe in karma, it's out there! it suckerpunched me a few times! LOL! but also taught me that left alone and being true to your heart, in time, the good karma will come back to you! A real man has but a few things: His name, his word and his heart, I'm grateful that I had the welcome mat out when the good karma came knocking!! I knew for 2009 I needed to change it up a bit, over half of my friends here requested an add from me because of this blog. Some of you I would have never met (well on here! LOL!), and most likely never will except for here! and that's cool! because something in my page or yours made the connection.... Well it still rings true! with me what you see is what you get. Good, bad or indifferent. It comes from learning things the hard way, no matter where you go! there you are! but the hard lessons are the best ones, the ones that stick! The ones that leave you bumped and bruised but not broken, life is too short to live for hellbent hearts, trading loneliness for heartache is never a wise move, although accepting loneliness to achieve freedom is the best move you can make sometimes! this I know too! leave the baggage behind, everyday I rise up, I let something else thats not good for me go, sometimes with a tear or two, but you just got to let things go. Understand that sometimes being who you are will never be enough for some one, And be true to people, thats how you get it back, and remember.. keep your head forward and to the sky! your future's not behind you, that's your past. And everyday you wake up with air in your lungs is another chance to change your life, make that difference! I'm making changes everyday, And I try to make a difference to somebody! somebody out there needs me & needs you, and I need them! If you inspire just one person then mission accomplished! This year also has brought some old friends back in to my life (like Lupe from Tejas, my boy from way back in the day) and thats usually a good thing, Merced is not large, so some people I have seen and opened my arms and my heart! others I bolted behind a car, bush or anything else that would hide me! LOL! but thats ok! there is a reason they are not in my future. The lesson you learn and you don't dare forget, what makes you grow old is replacing hope with regret! God Bless you and most of all, don't ask him to change your path if your not ready to move your feet! (Thanks for that Letty, took me a bit to apply it to myself! LOL! I Love You Always) *Peace*
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