WHAT WE’VE BEEN UP TO
06-12-2009
Howdy Freaks!
So, I guess we should start with the obligatory apology for our lackadaisical effort with the updates. We’re fucking sorry. I think the last update started growing mold on it. So here’s a brand spanking new update for you that I’m sure we’ll get around to changing sometime late next year.
Anyhoo, we’re all doing great, thanks for asking. And the scattered shows we’ve been playing have been pretty good, too. Of all places to play, we had a really good time in Circleville at Tootles. That is, until seconds after getting paid we lost nearly all our money to a local cretin and the bar. Then we fought all the way home. But nobody could actually hit each other because we had too much gear crammed between us. Thank god. We don’t need that kind of bloodshed on the side of the road in the hometown of the Great Pumpkin Show. Though, I’m sure it would hardly be shocking to see a couple of drunk dudes beating the snot out of each other in Circleville. There are a few more shows coming up for the summer, including a slot at Comfest. You may recall last year that the hippies that run this thing failed to put us in…some grumbling about our fighting and our language or some shit. Not this year! We’ve been blessed by those very same hippies with a time slot of 1:40 on Friday afternoon on the main stage. 1: fucking 40. PM! I remember we played a show last 4th of July at 4pm and every single one us damn near slept through that, so who knows how we’ll make a 1:40 start time. Oh, and this will be the last show probably until August. Gonzo will be leaving for Europe again as soon as we’re done playing Comfest. But look for us to be playing everywhere BUT Columbus starting in September. And plans are in the works for us to tour in Europe early next year.
And September is when our record will be out, which we are still working on. I know it seems like we’ve been working on this for a long time….and we have. We’ve recorded songs, then re-recorded, and even re-re-recorded songs. But I tell ya, it’s going to blow your mind. It’s blowing our minds already and we’re not even done yet. You might want to wear a protective helmet the first time you listen to it. It’s going to be that good. If people don’t go ass over tits over it when it’s finished, we may slit our collective wrists. Or we’ll just say fuck it and start recording another one. We don’t know what the record is going to be called yet, but we want it to be something that sounds like it could be successful. So we’re kicking around “Thriller 2†or “The Wall 2†or “Back In Black 2.†You get the idea of how good it will be. No shit.
Well, I wish there was more exciting stuff to tell you like our singer crashed his Ferrari into a parade of baby strollers recently, or our guitarist nailed Paris Hilton. Or Perez Hilton. Or our drummer lost both arms and legs while fishing for sharks, but can still play. But no, we’re all behaving like good upstanding citizens, staying out of trouble.
Thanks for all your support, and thanks for keeping us America’s best kept secret so far.
Love and Rockets,
Help Is On The Way
RANTS
So the last 3 or 4 times we’ve rehearsed at Gonzo’s mansion the cops have shown up. What the fuck is up with the neighbors? Don’t they know Gonzo is the “Don†of that hood? We’re now rehearsing at double secret, undisclosed location deep underground.
FEATURED FRIENDS
This is where we like to highlight some of our imaginary friends from the internet. They're much cooler than our real life imaginary friends.
Two Cow Garage - We’ve featrured this great Columbus band before but they deserve all the recognition they can get. They just put out a new record a couple of months ago and it’s really fucking good.
Happy Chichester - We’ve highlighted this cat before too, but his last record “Lovers Comeback†is still in heavy rotation at all of our after hours parties. He should have something new out in the near future.
Ronald Koal - Sadly to say, this magnificent Columbus Icon is no longer with us, but is sorely missed. Gonzo actually auditioned to be in Ronald’s band many years ago when he was just a baby, and was deeply influenced by this gifted performer.
We would also like to mention these fine companies who have been extremely kind and helpful to our band:
Pickguardian - These great folks make custom pick guards for guitars, but they’ve also been very kind enough to let us use some of their collector guitars and amps from their private collection on our recordings and we thank them dearly.
Medicineman Custom Drums - These are the great folks who built Gonzo’s drums for him, and they did a superb job. Ever since he got this kit, Gonzo has quit kicking his drums over.
SWAG This is where you can pick up the latest in HIOTW fashions. Someone will surely want to sex you up when they see you in one of our t-shirts.
T-shirts - $9.00 – Click HERE to see the t-shirts
Show Posters - $4.00 – Click HERE to see the posters.
Demo CD - $5.00 – Features the 5 rough mixes posted here on a cool stenciled CD.
And that's it for this week, thanks for all your support.
Love and Rockets,
Help Is On The Way
[email protected]
