Bucky Peachbottom

I think I was born in Mexico, somewhere in the mystic jungles of the Yucatan Peninsula. I was found as an infant at the base of the ruins of a Mayan pyramid. I was discovered by a tourist group on a corporate retreat. A local tribesman told my group that my daddy had, "Come from the stars." The leader of the group, Jack "The Jackelope" Peachbottom, was a Texas oilman who had branched out into other ventures. He was in Mexico location scouting for a sweatshop development plan he was spearheading. The Jackelope took me under his wing, branded "Bucky" on my left calf, and put me to work in his sweatshop. I made cowboy boots, disposable lighters, yo-yo's, assualt rifles as well as assorted products of an auto erotic nature. He taught me how to talk and fight and ride. I lost my virginity at the age of nine to a syphlitic prostitute. I was running my first fortune 500 company before I could drive(legally). Since then I've surfed the biggest waves, fucked the craziest women, rode the meanest bulls and crippled the toughest men that this pea of a fucking planet has to offer. I can see the future before it happens, I can see the lost faces of the ghosts of the past. I can telepathically communicate with small animals. I am a man of the universe- a flowing, raging extension of the energy that is everything.