Ralph Macchio's Black Eye profile picture

Ralph Macchio's Black Eye

Do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Judd Apatow.

Music:

Cake, REM, Modest Mouse, Joni Mitchell, Beck, Simon & Garfunkel, Monster Ballads, Willie Nelson, Nelly Furtado, Fiona Apple, Sublime, Missy Elliott, The Shins, DMB, NKOTB, Reggae, Led Zeppelin, Tori Amos, The Beatles, Dolly Parton, David Bowie, Violent Femmes, Louis Armstrong, The Beach Boys, Stevie Wonder, Johnny Cash, Ray Charles, Radiohead, Tenacious D, Michael Jackson (when he was still Black), Guns & Roses, Van Morrison.

Movies:

Spellbound, Tommy Boy, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, Urban Cowboy, Adaptation, Being John Malkovitch, The Breakfast Club, Muppets Take Manhattan, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Whale Rider, Eternal Sunshine..., Donnie Darko, The Shining, Gates of Heaven (well, anything by Errol Morris, for that matter), Neverending Story, The Big Lebowski, Lost in Translation, The Exorcist, Let's Scare Jessica to Death, Teen Wolf, An American Werewolf in London, The Peanut Butter Solution, Say Anything, Sleepaway Camp.

Television:

Anything on HBO--Six Feet Under, Curb Yr Enthusiasm, Extras, Bill Mahr...Planet's Funniest Animals (on mute), The Daily Show, Lost, Arrested Development, Forensic Files, Aquateen Hunger Force, The Simpsons, MacGyver, Hawaii 5-0, trashy reality shows, and the most evil and addictive force on daytime TV: Days of Our Lives. I'm a TV-zombie. Horrible, I know.

Books:

The Secret of Cartwheels.

Heroes:

Pee Wee Herman, Arundhati Roy, Matt Groening, Frylock.

My Blog

Letter to a Whore

"...but suddenly, they found themselves next to a white Cadillac convertible all covered with vomit and a 300-pound Samoan in a yellow fishnet T-shirt yelling at them..." Dear Las Vegas, I like the ...
Posted by Ralph Macchio's Black Eye on Wed, 13 Sep 2006 11:50:00 PST

A new thing Ian said in his sleep...

...after screaming out and thrashing wildly: "That cafeteria lady set my hair on fire with a lit can of hairspray."
Posted by Ralph Macchio's Black Eye on Sat, 11 Feb 2006 09:49:00 PST

Bad Poetry Write-Off!!!

Let's have a bad adolescent poetry write-off!  Anyone want to have a contest to see who can write the worst pubescent poem?  My friend Kim sent me a poem she found by a pagan teenage poet w...
Posted by Ralph Macchio's Black Eye on Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:26:00 PST

What Ian said after screaming out in his sleep...

"God, we have such a shitty Congress." Sweet dreams!
Posted by Ralph Macchio's Black Eye on Sun, 15 Jan 2006 02:06:00 PST

Flu Ramblings

Dr. Heck came in and pronounced, "Type A," which I thought for a minute referred to my personality.  I asked her what that was supposed to mean, and she said, "You have the flu." At least I'm no...
Posted by Ralph Macchio's Black Eye on Thu, 29 Dec 2005 01:12:00 PST