THE FOURTH CRIMINAL kidnapped 4 unsuspecting band members and told them they would not be seeing home for a very long time…..
We were already criminals but The Fourth Criminal gives us organisation, focus and a darker humour that makes my teeth go numb when I try to laugh at it. Some of this feels wrong and maybe we will all end up being hung from a lighting rig as an example to others but as long as The Fourth Criminal is there, we are untouchable…
We are bathed in a dirty neon glow, we have been branded with a prickly laser and these are our new criminal missions:
VOCAL PROSTITUTION - JAILEX - Described in a recent women’s magazine as a ’29 Bus Stop’ for stopping anything dressed in red and trying to get a ride without paying. His dearest wish is to have his life taken by a jealous lover and have the CCTV footage as his eulogy. Wanted for breaking hearts and pelvises and selling the pieces to minors, approach only with wicked intention and extreme prejudice
GUITAR ASSASSINATION - VORTEX - A tortured artist that locks himself in a basement, continuously self flagellating, painting masterpieces and contemplating his own fragile mortality. He’s no sissy though; eight trigger fingers have already notched an impressive number of kills on the maple of his pump action fret board!
BASS EXTORTION - LEE V2 – Born without the soul of a musician, masquerading instead with a corrupt core program that needs exotic add-ons to function on the most basic level. He is frequently crashing and always looking for a cheap upgrade. Wanted for stealing Myspace layouts and muscling hooks from songwriters, solo artists beware!
SNYTH TRAFFICKING - RIEVER - The artful and nimble continent stepper, always so very far from home and often making his bed with the exotic or the psychotic. Riever was once quoted as saying 'Monogamy is for suckers but you really should consider swallowing if you want to draw a crowd!’ He is wanted globally for crossing police, state, moral and ethical lines
