Candy Mellow

Hi there. I love coffee. I hate mushrooms and pickles. I am better at arguing than you. You are better at dancing than me. I think Christian Bale is the perverbial bomb. I sing. Esteban is WORTH getting star struck over. I am a sarcastic fuck. Fat girls asses in bikinis look like a hundred pounds of chewed bubble gum. I'd rather try to get smoke inside of a glass bottle using a baseball bat than listen to someone complain. I wish I was a Ghostbuster just so I could say "I'm a ghostbuster" when asked what I do for a living, then step back and cross my arms like it was 1992. I believe in treating people how you want to be treated. I brush my teeth with hot water. I am a sucker for motivational quotes. Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. I am busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. Materialistic people crack me up, because they actually think they are happy. Thinking that we are the only ones in the universe makes you nuttier than squirrel turd. Maury Povich "You are not the father" episodes rule. American Psycho and Silence of the Lambs should be in the comedy section of Blockbuster. I think the *LEEDS* mattress guy SHOULD be beat. I have to watch TV with the remote in my hand, or else I feel like I'm swimming with one flipper on. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Pop Up Video should NOT have been canceled. I don't read novels. Saying "thank you" and "please" is extremely important. texting and myspace have lowered peoples social skills. I pretty much live for music and comedy. I don't take networking internet sites seriously. The Extenze infomercial girl is ugly. I think shit-talking on the internet is about as useful as trying to kill an elephant by throwing a tic tac at it. 35 year old guitar center employees that still think their band is gonna "make it" crack me up. I love people watching at bars. People look funny when they're mad. I WILL beat you at a game of tetris. The fact that Bill Paxton was killed by an Alien, the Predator, AND the Terminator should AUTOMATICALLY qualify him for an academy award. Holidays are over-rated. Dave Chappelle is a viable GENIUS. I love the beach. I'd like to watch Gary Busey and Rosie O'donnell grind each other on a dance floor to a Billy Ocean tribute band. I love coconut flavored anything. Laughter can cure more than you think. Fast food is so bad for you, but sooooo good. The El Pollo Loco chicken tacos have changed lives. Spell check is one of the best inventions next to the wheel. I can give a better Blue Steel than Zoolander. I don't give a fuck about your band. I have 4 cats and 3 dogs. I have a strange obsession with people over 7' tall. I hate sports. Paul Walker is about as good of an actor as Keanu Reeves. I wish I could use the Jedi mind trick on people. A 1984 Lincoln Town Car is the best car EVER. I think humans should fling poo at each other like monkeys do when they get angry. If you don't dress up for Halloween, you are lame. The "25 year old balding/comb over jacuzzi mcdougal", and the "Drunk white girl who can't dance" are the best people to stare at while at a club. Money doesn't impress me. Songs are more important than bands. The best way to hit on a girl at a bar is to order her a "Gorilla Fart". I wish Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket was my dad. I wonder if the Devil listens to shitty bands like Paramore. The Geico caveman and Jack Links Messin' with Sasquatch commercials are GENIUS. Bill Murray needs to marry me. There will never be another Johnny Cash or Elvis. I can't believe you just read all of my rambling.....anyways, add me or send me a message if you want, If not, that's cool too, haha - That is all for now. *cheers*