Andy profile picture

Andy

There's a cello in your house now.

About Me


I have some pictures of which I feel should be best described, or only described as vainglorious. As this is a viral side effect of myspace, I felt it best to medicate by also putting up pictures of narcissistic women that I would marry.
Also, I write on my forearm, usually on Monday. It's probably not poetry even though my grandma believes so. After a few days of showers certain gaps in the lines appear, or words are washed away so to speak. This is equal to burning a letter except it is a word. Then I fill the blanks in with new words. I feel sorry for the old words, however they weren't strong enough. I wish I was ambidextrous so that I could utilize the space on my left arm, however I will just have to work for it.
Next my question in life is that "why do people jump in the shower?" never have I once physically jumped in the shower, however I've told people that "I'm going to jump in the shower" hundreds of times. I guess you could say this particular passage is my bohemian, obscure, quirky myspace entry. I feel like people abuse banality. I make love to it.
Furthermore in my continued triumph of will, Iam going to alphabetize my top eight. So if you're name starts with A-C you're really really lucky. Just like in 5th grade when the teacher would start presentations alphabetically, unless you got one of those liberal educators which started from the letter Z to catch everyone off guard.

My Interests

sour candy is number one. inhaling my unconscious, dancing, dancing, dancing, kissing stuff, rain, snow and the coming winter, lifting weights (brain weights), talking english, bike riding, riding scooters inside art galleries (this was only once, anyone have any offers?) austin texas, some of europe, jokes, affection but not the religious kind, romantic affection, gay jake my roommate, women's deodorant, post its, pads and notebooks, drunk weekend guys who yell outside my window, leaflets that say "want computer experience", the midwest and the potential of driving through it, scotch tape, homeless kids (who are healthy), bathtubs, cats with attitude, flourescent colored tshirts, and little plastic indians and soldiers (the indians are pink, or i should say the savages are pink, and the soldiers are army green).

I'd like to meet:


the rest of my brain which seems to rhyme in iambic meter right when i start dreaming, someone else, other people, mostly bonobo apes who make love for fun, girls who can make me laugh, Shakespeare, Avedon, Billy Wilder, the funniest woman on the planet and the God of the Jews, Jurgen Teller, Gillian Wearing, and Diane Arbus, but probably not cause she died ....

Music:

my rap lyrics, banjos that wake me up, trumpets in heaven, the flute during the civil war, tribal drums (not like trance drums guys, i'm talking rwanda), spoons and forks, tapping feet, cat meows under my door, rain drops and thunder, slamming doors, humming women, barking dogs, and most of all - laughing - all the different kinds of laughing, chinese laughing, teenage girl laughing, old man laughing, gay laughs, smart laughs, pseudo intelligent laughs, smart ass laughs, mock laughing, heart laughing, silent laughing, inside voice laughing, my laughing and this other voice of laughing that i've been listening to for way too long and lastly my little sister's laughs.

Television:

brown, white, yellow, big, flat, small, static, bent antenna, aluminum foil antenna, wire hanger met with some open wire hangers attached to more aluminum foil when held just at the right angle gets the picture quality to come in best, andy kaufman tv, not at the dinner table tv, funny tv, hbo, jakes german silent film tv, cuddling tv, dancing intstruction tv, aerobics tv, real news which is fake tv, watching the guys who watch tv football (its hilarious), tv in the winter, and most of all - the tv which is off.

Books:

oh me? oh i only like walt whitman by a warm fire, two glasses of the reddest wine and my best companion and also feline cat, appropriately dubbed, woolf, virginia woolf. joyous.

Heroes:

conscious

My Blog

Hotel Chevalier

Pachelbel in May at the Hotel Chevalier....kinda not really. Lust and discord are more interesting....
Posted by Andy on Thu, 11 Oct 2007 12:45:00 PST

My Emoticon, Me Currently, Me Me Me Me

I am very happy to present myself via myspace albeit completely detaching from any physical interaction, only to harbor this detachment with my current myspace emoticon ranging from, accomplished, to ...
Posted by Andy on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 01:17:00 PST

Can you find the Literary Icon?

As we grow we change, our voices lose the squeak, growing pains in my knees at night, hair, and then all of a sudden you're attracted to the girl who sits behind you and doesn't notice the random in c...
Posted by Andy on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 01:53:00 PST

Kinko's Undeleted Love Affair

While typing a cover letter to a fax at a local Kinko's, I pulled up previous templates on Microsoft Word under the "File" drop tab. I came across the usual files past Kinko-goers left undeleted. One ...
Posted by Andy on Wed, 02 May 2007 09:05:00 PST

Everyone Goes to 205, Because. Because Why?

My good friend Dexter was interviewed by a popular lifestyle magazine for his social skills. He asked me to answer the questions, naturally. If you could go over them and get back to me with answers n...
Posted by Andy on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:03:00 PST

A Wildly Scrambled Cardiogram

Normally I would waver between NY Times and CNN coverage, to make fun of articles like "Sorority Evictions Raise Issues of Looks and Bias" Whaaaaa? Groups of girls funded by negligent patriarchs bitch...
Posted by Andy on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 09:35:00 PST

NASA on Duct Tape

In the event of a psychotic astronaut in outer space, according to NASA, sane astronauts are instructed to duct tape the individual's hands and feet to the space ship. Other uses for duct tape in oute...
Posted by Andy on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 03:43:00 PST

If I ever cheat on a girlfriend, I will give her this letter

It's an apology letter I received today from Jetblue's CEO that could read like a Mad Lib book and serve as apology letter to a girlfriend. It's that heartfelt. I will have to change a few things, but...
Posted by Andy on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 01:57:00 PST

Melody Club Music Video. At The Misshapes. You.

...
Posted by Andy on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:53:00 PST

Kamisol Recreational Facility Jungle Gym System

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Posted by Andy on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 06:49:00 PST