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my name is meredith. i want to be a little kid again. i live in a little crappy town, and i'm saving up money to move...just not sure where to yet. people often tell me that i don't sound like i'm from VA/TN. if i could get my thoughts out fast enough, i think i'd be a fairly decent writer. i have a select few friends in virginia. then my other two loves, elle and britty, are in cali. i won't be surprised if you don't understand me, or if you feel the need to judge me because of the decisions i make/things i do. i'm getting used to it. i've been told i almost always make poor decisions. i guess i'm a bit self-destructive. judge me by that, too. it's just my nature. i either sleep mass amounts or very little at all. i guess that has to do with how much of my adderall i've taken. at times i become a hermit and refuse to answer my phone or return calls. sometimes i just want to be alone...sometimes i can't stand the thought of being alone. today i bought a tube of decorating icing and ate it for lunch. i have an addiction to candy, and i enjoy drugs. i change my mind often, so i'll probably either delete this whole section or add more random babbling. if you want to know more about me just ask...i might ignore you, though. oh yeah...i rarely pick up the phone. sometimes i refuse to even check voicemails for days. i'm just weird and i hate the phone. seriously hate it. i might text you back if i love you. other than that i'm pretty much a hermit.
i'm the mistake kid. my mother didn't have a clue what she was getting herself into. i have an older brother that is so much like me it's crazy, and an older sister who is nothing like me. we don't even really look related.
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
