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I am the great and powerful oz. i am the only person on earth who can fly. When i dance, it is so amazing that people have been known to freak out and bleed from the ears. i am the head of an akkadian ruler. i once killed a puma just by looking at it. I wrote the screenplay for "Titanic" while sleep-typing. i killed dale earnhardt. I lost my virginity to Dwight Schrute. My first word was the recitation of pi. I saved the life of Zach Galifianakis by sucking snake venom out of his eye. my fingers are fucking huge. my parents secretly told me that they love me more than my sister. all pauly shore films are based on various times of my life. I killed the electric car. I, not aaron carter, am responsible for the feud between lindsay lohan and hilary duff. When you play "space cowboy" by nsync backwards, you will hear me singing the star spangled banner. If i shove a fun-sized snickers up my nose, it comes out of my mouth as a full-sized almond joy. last weekend i threw my aunt lulu into a volcano. i once round-house kicked Rue McClanahan for being a bitch on that one episode of "The Golden Girls." ask her. she knows which one.also, i take photos: