Tammy

When I started this myspace page, my family was whole.
Since then I have lost my beautiful red headed daughter to a drunk driver.
My life will never be whole again.
I cannot bring myself to delete what I wrote in the about me section because when I wrote it she was alive. I am just going to update around it. It was a time in my life when all was good and I want to hold on to that memory.
But to update me....Well, I am still keeping children in my home. I love them with all my heart. I hope that when they go off in life that they will carry a part of me with them. I am glad when they go home, lol, but miss them like hell after they leave. Sometimes I have to go visit them at their homes on the weekends. How sad it that!
My kids now consist of Zoey-3 years old (she's my prison guard, yep that pretty much says it all)---Chaston-3 years old(hmm, what can you say about chaston, lol, he's a cutie with a temper)---Shyla-2 years old (she's my angelina jolie, she has the prettiest smile)---Madison-3 years old (She's my little Barbie, Blonde and beautiful)---Cason- 3 months (has a smile that will melt your heart)----Avery-8 months old (has the prettiest auburn hair and big eyes) and Elizabeth-4 months old (Has a laugh that brightens your day).
My animals have changed also. My pom pom Roxie had what i guess was a stroke. She could no longer move anything but her head. I had to put her down. I held her close and talked her through it. My heart just keeps breaking. I had gotten Holli a bassett hound named JoJo for her 21st birthday. Holli died two months later so I got custody of JoJo. JoJo was a character to say the least. He did not understand that he was a dog. He always thought he was one of the kids. JoJo got hit by a truck on April 30th 2007 and died. He died the same month as Holli exactly one year later. I just keep telling myself that Holli wanted her baby back.
The next day I had to put my boston terrier clyde down. Clyde had been sick for about a year and we have been battling trying to keep him alive. I think when JoJo died, that he knew. The next morning I saw that Clyde was having trouble swallowing. I took him to the vet immediately and he was already in heart failure so again, I held my baby and told him what a good boy he was while he went to sleep for the last time. Just recently we had to put our albino rat to sleep. She was almost 3 years old and had developed large tumors on her leg and could not walk.
I still have my fish tank with the fish Holli bought me. I still have Butch (shepard mix) who was rescued after being poisoned by a mean man. I still have CJ(boston terrier) who was blinded by his mother and was destined to be a breeder and I still have my Rusti who I have had since daniel was in 2nd grade. Bless her heart she is holding on.
We now have a new bassett hound that was givin to paul by Amanda and Daniel. She came with the name Molly. How cool is that. And she is the spitting image of JoJo. I do think Holli would be proud.
I still have my cat and two parrots and now have only 2 parekeets but have a new addition of a flying squirrel that the cat brought home. He is a baby and I am clueless on what to do with him. (update on my animals---since I wrote this I have had to put my double yellowhead amazon named Bill to sleep. I thought he had a cold and was treating him for that but then one morning I got up and he was on the bottom of his cage. I have had bill almost 10 years and have never been able to hold him but my mother instincts took over and I scooped him up not even caring that he might bite me. I held him close to my heart and begged him not to die. We rushed him to the vet and found out he had cancer. A large tumor in his stomach and was already in kidney failure because of it. So I had to make the choice to send him to be with Holli. He always wanted me to hold him like I do Olive (my other parrot) but he had been abused and couldn't break away from his mistrust. I finally got to snuggle with him if only for a little while. It was hard saying goodbye to him but I knew I could not let him suffer any longer. Rest in peace bill, I will forever keep you in my heart. He was 30 years old.)---and the squirrel has been set free in the front yard and hopefully escaped the paws of my fierce tiger Kali. He is declawed but it doesn't seem to stop him from hunting.
My son Daniel and his girlfriend Amanda have moved out. They think I kicked them out but I didn't. I just wanted them to start their lives and I knew they couldn't do it living at home. I do miss them so much. I don't see them much even though they live a couple of minutes away. But they are busy with their lives now and that is what I had wanted for them. I guess you have to be careful about what you wish for. They have a good life together which I am thankful for. Amanda is the perfect girl for Daniel and I couldn't see him with anyone else. He has grown into a wonderful Man and I am so very proud of him. They are the parents of two kittie cats named Pearl and Onyx.
My daughters best friend from elementary school has moved in with us for awhile until she can get her life back together. She has been through two very bad relationships and has three children. She has been such a big help to me. She and holli are so much alike. It has been bittersweet for me. I love having her here but it makes me miss holli that much more. I so miss what I had with holli. I cannot see how my heart can break anymore but it seems to find a way every day.
I love ashly and lizzie and would not trade having them here for anything. I wish I knew how to fix everything for her and knew how to make it better, all I can do is help her any way that I can.
I am still married to Paul. I definately believe in love at first site because when I saw Paul for the first time, I knew that was who I wanted to marry. We met in March and married in July. 4 months dating and 23 years married. That is pretty good I think. I told paul that not even death would free him from me cus I will haunt him forever. He will never be able to get rid of me. I plan on being with him always.
I have strayed from the church lately I know. I have not been a good christian like I should be and want to be. I still have my faith in the Lord and deep down I know that he can help me if I would just ask. But when you feel this lost, it is not so easy to do. I cannot explain it but I tend to pull away from everyone when I feel like this. I am so lost right now and I sometimes cannot see how I am going to find my way back.
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♥ I have been married for 22 years to my high school sweetheart and have two children, a beautiful daughter named Holli that is 21 years old who works at Dr. Whites office and is getting married in April and a very smart son that is 20 years old and is leaving for college this year in Florida and is engaged to a wonderful girl who I consider my second daughter .
I am very proud of my kids and how well they have grown up. I really had my doubts during those teenage years but it all worked out. I guess all the lecturing I did was worth it. ♥
I am definitely an animal lover. I have 2 double yellowhead amazon parrots and one blue front amazon parrot--she is is a foster and will be going home soon and 3 parakeets(two are handicapped). ♥
I have 5 dogs (three rescues, one stray, one that has been on trial basis for 8 years, still not for sure we are gonna keep him, lol )and and one granddog (bassett hound). ♥
We also have one cat (stray), one Ball python and one white rat which was supposed to be food for the snake but it didnt work out that way. Do I count the three fish tanks?♥
I babysit 6 beautiful kids every day. Zackary-5 years old (have had him since he was 4 months old),
Zoey--16 months old (have had her since she was 2 months),
Mason--3 years (have been keeping him for a year),
Kayla--13 months old (she is my great niece and I have been keeping her since she was 2 months),
Shyla--7 months old (have had her since she was 2 months),
Chaston--21 months old (have had him for about 4 months),
and I have Zoey's older sister Madison on a part time basis (when needed) and Shyla's older brother on a part time basis.♥
I love them all dearly and consider them a part of my family. I now have a fondness for sesame street and can sing 5 little monkeys all the way through. When I have time I love to garden and research genealogy. ♥
My maiden name was Bennett. I went to East side school until the sixth grade and then onto Bastrop Junior High and High School. I would have graduated with my class but had complications with my pregnancy and had to quit in the 11th grade. I received my GED in 85 and went to Vo-Tech to study nursing. ♥
I had to quit work in 2003 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and spent most of two years in Dallas Texas getting treatments. I am now Cancer free and have decided I would rather stay home and take care of children. They always have a hug and kiss for you when you need one. Well that's about it.♥
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