Donald profile picture

Donald

Go! CUBS! Go!

About Me

My name is Donald T. Heinz. Many people know me as the Quarterback for the Carolina Cubs (NFL) NUMBER 72! I don't want to have an ego but I am one of the best there ever was... I was bigger, faster, and more powerfull than anyone on the field. I also enjoy swimming, dating, and long walks on the beach. Murdering people is also a hobby of mine. Oh wait. No. Ah fuck it.

My Interests

Football, Football, and more Football. The Carolina Cubs, throwing footballs, teaching my daughter how to fight like a man. It doesn't take much to make me happy, just spill the blood of a few children under five over my steak and I'm happy.

I hate the Cincinatti Shananagans, they are by far the worst NFL team and back in 1972 they broke my leg on opening day. I hate them so much along with their quarterback who isn't nearly as good as I am, Richard Hunts.

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet the owner of the Carolina Cubs since he's dead... I would like to meet Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, my mom, and the man who created the number 72.

Music:

I like all types of music. Gangsta Rap, Hippity Hop, Rock, Classic Rock, Metal, Death Metal, R&B, Old Skool, the screams of the dying, and the shouts that the quarterbacks make at the line of scrimmage.

Movies:

Horror Movies, Comedies... The bitch from the Ring is pretty smoking, I'd bang her... and Adam Sandler is my favorite actor.

Television:

Monday Night Football, The Heinz Network... The Dead Baby Show with that guy from full house.

Books:

The Heinz Tragedy, Jack the Ripper, Heinz Field Archetecture, Human Anatomy 101... many others.

Heroes:

Anyone that helped me get my start in 1972. I love you all, I'm sorry I killed a few of you.