MEN-AO-AR

The Almighty MEN-AO-AR is:

Gandulo Sagui: PTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTA
John Serpentor: RRRRRRRRROOOOAAAAARRR
Soe Jatriani: TCHANTCHANTCHANTCHANTCHAN
Tomás Barrabrás: DUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUM
Part 1 - Beginnings:
The genesis of the Men-Ao-Ar phenomenon dates back to a point somewhere back in the last millennium, a product of unique circumstances, alignments and ancient cosmic ethylic combinations. On that date, Saint Peter, the fatelíssimo, urined in abundance and contempt upon humanity, causing a deluge that made refrigerators to slide in the Kingdom of Call Sada and spreaded the sacred terror of the fatela god among all mortals…. All but two brave Ramadense warriors: John Serpentor and Soe Jatriani. The holy tyranny has caused the two young men to declare war to the referred gods, washed underwear, the delfins, good taste, morality and decency ... elements that these rebels identified as the pentacle on which was based the whole degradation of the Kingdom of Ramada.
Part 2 - "Napalm in the Vatican ":
Thus began the Praise to Goat on Dope, an entity of bitchy appearence that appears when too much cheap wine with ajax is drank. This god of chaos is described in Ramadense mythology as responsible for the spreading of hallucinogenic substances (such as molico milk andbeards of corn with zombie cat's moustache) and snotty beer. Convicted in their new faith and their ingredients John Serpentor and Soe Jatriani sought refuge in the studios of "Valentim do Caralho" in order to forge arms against the oppression of the glorious Ramadense nation. The sonic attack would be unleashed with microphone and guitar… And so the 2 noble renegades made history on that very day, recording the band's 1st effort: "Napalm no Vaticano.". This record is lost in uncertain whereabouts nowadays... the most reliable sources indicate that it is closed at the CIA's vaults. So, Extreme Metal Saloio was created, as well as its banner: Men-Ao-Ar (analogous to Nietzschezian elevation of man to heaven and shit like that). The impact of the phenomenon among locals was immediate, setting a group of loyal followers and resistance to the oppression practiced by the false gods of fatelismo.

Shouting out loud the slogan "death to fatelismo!" and worshipping Goat on Dope, the revolt of the legion of Ramada had the most striking peak on the live album "Alive At The CREL," . The recording was made in the artery which held the same name, a stretch of the Kingdom the Mongolólia, a contiguous region of the insurgents. Its inhabitants, the Mongos, worshiped the fatela god and were obviously despicable enemies, unworthy of their lives. Thus, in its first live record, the sonic attack was directed to the Mongololense road. It resulted in a massacre of 2 old women hit by tricycles, 2 buses with warped wheels, 3 smashed cats, 1 crippled dog and 3 parakeets with bunion. The screams of the infidels as they perished can be heard in the album's phew pauses. Currently, this recording is only held by members of the original band, and is used for ceremonial sacrifices of nymphomaniac virgins offered to Goat on Dope.
But the revolt was about to be subdued ... In response to the the CRELic massacre, the gods of fatelismo launched a fierce retaliation. The started identifying the rebels (through the infamous traitors Amândio: the anemic Obelix and Bento: monkey face) and almost the entire resistance was captured and subjected to consecutive hearings of the "Baía of Cascais", causing a slow and painful genocide within the ramadense race. Only Soe Jatriani, John Serpentor and a handful of faithful warriors escaped, (Thnaks to Goat on Dope, who appered appeared to them in a flaming donkey turd, warning of the persecution and capture of nearly most of the legion). The following times were spent in anonymity and silence, trying to escape the clutch of fatelismo.
Part 3 - The Second Coming:
Years later, an hecatomb would lead to the duo of spiritual leaders to reorganize the resistance: the great heralds of fatelismo, the delfins, were back with a new album! The seriousness of the situation required recruitment of 2 more chosen warriors to the core of the band selected by Goat on Dope himself. These were some of the few survivors of the historical persecution. Their names were Arex Moulinex and Invisible Vegetable. The first of them was a devout knight of the order of the Ramadenses Maize Beards, and the second was a renamed martyr of the anti-fatelismo cause, whose sacrifice had resulted in the complete immobility and transparency of his being. In a ritual where poems of scaffolding and revelations of amnesic prophets were recited solemnly, Goat On Dope delivered to Arex Moulinex the sacred drums of power ... he accepted it with unnamed honor (although he ended the ceremony smoking the snare's skin). Then our god has placed the sacred bass of power in the hands of Vegetable Invisible and ... the instrument fell to the ground. Goat on Dope wagged his head and lit a beard of corn joint before leaving. Even with the negative reaction of the divinity, the remaining elements of the band accepted Vegetal. Swiftly they returned to "Valentim do Caralho " studios, located in the Bética traitor region of Ramada known as "Tcha Pim", more precisely on its underground. The whole region was filled with repulsive worshipers of fatelismo. Their hairs adorned with side fringes, their shirts showing the crocodile's rune of fatelismo … Their tuning chariots spreading the pollution of delfíns throughout Ramada. They had to be stopped!
The surprise attack from the underground had such a devastating effect that this time not only all infidels immediately left the sacred soil of Ramada... No. .. this colossal sonic boom largely surpassed the borders of the kingdom! The reverberations arrived even to the kingdom of "Ceilá Tahaver" where delfins themselves inhabited. The effect was so daunting that these lame infidels announced an immediate end to the activities. The following days were glorious to for Men-Ao -Ar! Many of the songs recorded years later were composed in this era. Fatelismo and his followers were being decimated all over the world and nothing seemed to stop the triumph of the quartet. Soon the god of fatelismo would be crushed under the hooves of Goat on Dope and the war against fatelas would finally be won.
In this context of impending glory the unexpected happened. During a meeting with employees of the cultural institution known as "Trombinhas" John ate a plate of lamb accidentally sprayed with cosmic dust of plutonium by Soe Jatriani after ingesting too much snotty beer. The substance drove the singer into a deep coma and the band's activity was alted once again. The newest members left the band and took different roads after this episode. Arex Moulinex dedicated himself strictly to spiritual life, joining the smokiciu's order in a convent located at the kingdom of "Arre Hoja”. Vegetable Invisible deserted and was never to be seen or heard again. To be accurate, even during the glorious rising, no one ever saw or heard him… he never played a single note with its … but back then band took such behavior as lack of personality.
Part 4 - The road to eternal glory:
John Serpentor was only awakened from his long and deep sleep by guitarist Soe Jatriani several years later. Accidentally, Soe turned on the television when Chula Pinheiro (a frightful Banshee from the black kingdom of "Kehl 'Uzz") was heehawing in it. Soe jatriani was left with post-traumatic stress and John Serpentor became deaf from a nostril…. But he was conscious once again! Without further delay, the third coming of Men-In-Air has been blessed by Goat on Dope. In order to storm with frenzy the kit once held by Arex Moulinex, Gandulo Saguí joined the train: a brave soldier from ramada known for his rage against the fatela faction of the green and a staunch fighter of fatelismo. His integration was almost automatic, as he followed closely the activities of the band many moons ago and the nomination to fulfill a task of such importance by the Goat On Dope himself was an honor. The return of the warriors rang with horror in the ears of the fatela gods and their lackeys, who who were still trying to recover from the last Men-Ao-Ar assault (including delfinistas). In parallel, the band also gained many fans outside the borders of Ramada and was already during the recording of the album "Far Beyond Ramada" that a foreigner was to fill the space left vacant by Vegetable Invisible. Tomas Barrabras was he named: a barbarian from distant steppe of "Mah Phra", known to trample suckers underneath his steed of steel and devour rice sfaiars with bread dieith (gastronomy from mah phra). The outsider quickly began to worship Goat is Dope and adapted to the ramadense way of life like any other elite member of the anti fatela legions.
And so we come to this day, the eve of the release of the 1st recording of the band in 14 years since the massacre captured in "Alive At The CREL." Once again the hordes of fatelismo tremble and retreat throughout the globe… because they know that nothing can stop the spreading of "Far Beyond Ramada" and the total victory of Ramada!
"The day has come... scream it out loud with me once more, brave warriors ramadenses:
Haill Men-Ao-Ar! Death to fatelas!”