Thom profile picture

Thom

I am here for Friends

About Me

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Most Of World's Spam Email Comes From Nation Of Koy4goff

My Blog

mixed up s.o.b.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q0fpJYsCVg
Posted by on Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:29:00 GMT

Me vs God... hahaha.

God wants me dead. I pissed him off. Pissed him off good. I don't know what sent him over the edge. Maybe it was my off-colour, sacreligious sense of humour. Maybe it was the bilby I drowned in a duf...
Posted by on Sun, 09 Mar 2008 08:25:00 GMT

It's a joke, you see.

VOTED BEST SHORT JOKE OF 2006  For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. Hisfather said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is$280,000 & your mother j...
Posted by on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 14:01:00 GMT

GRRRRRRR!!!

    I had this whole crazy blog post about my amusing adventures today, but as I was tweaking it... my blog window suddenly closed out and I was back at my desktop.  Now I'm n...
Posted by on Sun, 01 Oct 2006 19:11:00 GMT