Simon profile picture

Simon

Kabbalah backwards is holla back

About Me

I once had my finger broken semi-accidentally by a yardstick-wielding substitute teacher. I once slept through an entire New Kids on the Block concert. I once played poker against Vanilla Ice and took all his money (approximately $40). I have psychic powers, but they only work about 35% of the time.

My Interests

people, ideas, ridiculous people, analog technology, geography, mountains, barbecue sauce, languages, psychology, counterproductivity, expertness, roots, the smell of forests, facial gestures, idiot savants, anthropomorphism, big words, surprises, conviviality, camping, museums, systems, metacognition, intensity, architecture, people who get it, talking shit about people who don't get it

I'd like to meet:

All the lovely people. All the lonely people. Maybe a few of the homely people.

Music:


Movies:

The Jerk, The Big Lebowski, Kentucky Fried Movie, History of the World Part I, Blazing Saddles, The Goonies, I Heart Huckabee's, The Royal Tenenbaums, Zoolander, Beetlejuice, Fear of a Black Hat, Crash, La Ardilla Roja, Viridiana, City of God, A Clockwork Orange

Television:

The State, Perfect Strangers, 3-2-1 Contact, The Kids in the Hall

Books:

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Bullfighter Checks Her Makeup, Life of Pi, Slaughterhouse Five, Siddhartha, East of Eden, Nine Stories, Fortress of Solitude

Heroes:

Matthew Lesko, The Riddler, and anyone else who has managed to successfully incorporate punctuation into his or her wardrobe

My Blog

Into the desert, part 5: communion

The following was written in Joshua Tree National Park, using pen and paper, for expository and personal fulfillment purposes.PART 510/16/07, 11:37 AMSitting on the second highest rock on Mastodon Pea...
Posted by Simon on Wed, 17 Oct 2007 06:57:00 PST

Into the desert, part 4: context

The following was written in Joshua Tree National Park, using pen and paper, for expository and personal fulfillment purposes.PART 410/16/07, 7:16 AMSitting on a boulder overlooking other boulders, tr...
Posted by Simon on Wed, 17 Oct 2007 06:47:00 PST

Into the desert, part 3: assimilation

The following was written in Joshua Tree National Park, using pen and paper, for expository and personal fulfillment purposes.PART 310/15/07, 11:54 PMWoke up early from an early sleep, wrapped in warm...
Posted by Simon on Wed, 17 Oct 2007 06:33:00 PST

Into the desert, part 2: arrival

The following was written in Joshua Tree National Park, using pen and paper, for expository and personal fulfillment purposes.PART 210/15/07, 6:48 PMSitting at a picnic bench facing the wilderness, my...
Posted by Simon on Wed, 17 Oct 2007 06:09:00 PST

Into the desert, part 1: an early morning preamble

I wake up with eyes 200 miles long. Today, after a morning of group sobriety and group Buddhismsetting my life-feet square with their pathI'm making my departure. It's not escape, I tell myself, if ...
Posted by Simon on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 07:04:00 PST

SWINDLE article: Disco Demolition Night

Disco Demolition Nightby Simon Steinhardt"Holy cow!"The words were as iconic in Chicago as the Sears Tower and deep-dish pizza; Harry Caray, the broadcaster who made them famous, even more so. But the...
Posted by Simon on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 01:18:00 PST

It's morning again in America

In case you went to bed early last night, or you forgot to pay attention, or you just completely didn't give a shit, the future of this country (and perhaps the world) began to glimmer just a tiny bit...
Posted by Simon on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 09:32:00 PST

SWINDLE article: Michael Nesmith

"What is a good idea?" The question is both a practical and rhetorical one for Michael Nesmith, who has spent decades coming up with various correct answers while keeping in mind a precise, highly per...
Posted by Simon on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 03:18:00 PST

What is this country coming to?

ATTLEBORO, Massachusetts (AP) -- Tag, you're out!Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess...
Posted by Simon on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 09:23:00 PST

Imagine the possibilities...

----------------------------------Musical condom hits the high notesA musical condom designed to play louder and faster as lovers reach a climax is to go on sale in Ukraine.Grigoriy Chausovsky, from Z...
Posted by Simon on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 10:06:00 PST