My name is Shelbee. im struggling with the concept of life, humans, emotions, pretty much everything and how it fits together. and why. if you think about it we are just tiny organisms on this planet constantly living and dying. anything we "accomplish" in our lifetimes...? like what defines an accomplishment?
you get paid alot?
you have alot of stuff?
people will "remember you forever"?
we are just little specs on this timeline of eternity blowing everything we come in contact with way out of proportion. im starting to concider if i may infact be pessimistic in my perception of life. pretty much my current feeling on the matter is who the fuck cares. SOi have decided to stop. the only thing i can control in this life is to make myself satisfied, dare i say happy. in turn i have decided to be selfish. i want to be honest. im tierd of trying to please. changing to please.
im tierd of trying to be outgoing when im not. i am not fucking outgoing and thats just how it is. im tierd of influence.
im tierd of making decisions based on whats right or easy or nice. who decided a statement of honesty should be concidered offensive. i just want to be comfortable with what i want and not bend it to make it seem less important.
so:
i like senseless rap. its true. the less it makes sense the more i love it.
i've been watching bear attacks on animal chanel since 6:45..
four hours and 18 minutes.
I like dexter way more than maggie
Im scared of the unknown. Moving far away and all that.
I keep routines. and i like them.
I do want to get married and have a kid someday far in the future. i "hate kids and would never even think of it" but secretly i think house wives are cute.
i never cry at a funeral but i will in the parking lot when no ones looking.
matt really is my bff.
i hate talking on phones.
i dont like the feeling when you are growing away from a connection you had with someone
beer still tastes like baking soda and ginger.
