I can’t believe I won the Oscars |
Oh my God!Thank you, everybody!Especially to my daughters Katazghnya, Nanette, and Eva,my depilatory expert -- no moustache!,that cop who pulled me over that night, thanks! I was so wasted!and to ever...
Posted by on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:38:00 GMT |
the seven simple machines |
1. tweezers 2. the 2-ounce shot glass3. four-wheel drive4. the shovel5. fingers6. toaster7. sarcasm
Posted by on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 23:07:00 GMT |
dictionary |
A is for Ack! I have a pube in my throat!
B is for Bruuck! You pooped on my finger!
C is for Christ! Aren't you tired yet?
D is for Dirty Dolphin! Ask me about it.
E is for Extra-large! Some people li...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 22:12:00 GMT |
lately |
Yesterday I was waiting for my mom to pick me up for lunch and I heard my cat Fishstix make her "Fuck, yes, that is cool" noise, like, "Mew-ew-ack-ack-[silent screech cawl]" and I said softly (because...
Posted by on Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:53:00 GMT |
There and back |
When anyone says "Oh my God" I always say, "Oh, YOUR God." That must be annoying, but at least I think it's funny.I went to Riverhorse (I know, still a stupid name for a bar) tonight to hear/see Frank...
Posted by on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 22:34:00 GMT |
I unearthed photos long lost |
This goes out to all the people who died in Lake Michigan: Sorry!It's a cruel, cruel lake.
Posted by on Thu, 10 May 2007 23:15:00 GMT |
Charm School |
Overheard tonight at the Uptowner:Barfly 1: I'm not sure if it's called creatine or Viagra or whatever but I need some.Barfly 2: All I have are Vics, Percs and Oxys.B1: Okay.B2: What?B1: Yes.
Posted by on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 22:28:00 GMT |
Polish Falcons |
I met Robin from up the block. The one with the house with the driveway. The house with the pink toilet at the curb. She told me she's been living in Riverwest since 1885. She may have had her numbers...
Posted by on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 20:27:00 GMT |
