Take a risk...that's what life is!

I am a very simple person with very picky ways. I love history, art, music, dancing, and watching movies. I am a very family oriented person. I plan on owning my own business one day. UPDATE: My sister and I have our own handmade and unique design jewelry. We have original pieces and we also do custom designing for anyone that request it. I love being around people...I'm a social butterfly.I love to talk....I unlike most girls don't like to shop for clothes....I love shoes though...gigglesNow to the deep personal things: Let's see where to start? Hmm...How about from the time I was concieved there hasn't been a decent man in my life that loved me for me or ever wanted me. EXCEPT one: Kenny! The only problem with our relationship was that we were both young and needed to grow up and we couldn't do that together. It was something that we had to do on our own. We ended on a bad note due to my part...Incase he were to ever read this: I take full responsibility for it and I am truly sorry. Ever since Kenny and I split up my life has not ever been the same. My relationships come and go, men don't meet my standards as often, and my ideas on love and life are different. I guess part of that is b/c as i grow up my expectations are higher as far as a man in my life and now since I'm getting a divorce...I honestly don't expect much from a man. I've learned my lesson as far as the male gender goes. We live and we learn and everything happens for a reason but...ahh...it sucks. I'm still "young and stupid" but I know what I want in life. I just have to keep focused and not let the bumps in the road steer me off course.They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle: well I'm glad God has had this much faith in me b/c I didn't. The men that have disappointed me: my sperm donor, my brother in law, my dad, my husband...although I kind of expected it out of him, a few of my male friends (they think they can take advantage of me since I'm getting a divorce: I DONT THINK SO), and even Kenny-b/c I thought or at least I had always hoped that one day he would walk back into my life not as what we were but at least as a friend b/c he was my best friend for so long and he knew ME and loved who I was. Maybe I'm just one of those stupid girls that keeps making all the wrong choices but eventually I WILL get to where I'm going...and it is not hell....lol! My family has a lot of dirty lil secrets...some of which I'm to emotional and too sensitive to know. My sister shelters me from it b/c she knows I'm not very good with reality. Thank you sissy. My sister and I have our differences. She likes to give me her opinion even when I don't ask for it. That's okay even though it makes me mad. She means well. She has always been like a mother to me like her children have always been like my children except the oldest one who is like my lil sister to me. Most of the choices I make in my life are for my sister b/c I hate to here the word "disappointed" come out of her mouth. I'm more afraid of what she thinks of me than anyone else in the world, but then again when I do some stupid things (and she knows what i mean) I do them b/c I get tired of being the "golden" one.....by doing some of the things I do...it's just acting out or releasing some of my tension which is why I do things behind her back. My sister is my life and I don't know what I would do without her. That's why I say that I hope we are old and gray when we die b/c notice I said "we"....when she dies I want to die on the same day. Some might think that is morbid or weird but they just don't get it and I don't ask them too. I just ask that people leave me be. Her three kids are my life as well. They make me smile even though they can be hell sometimes. They are what keep me going each and everyday. Alexus is my heart and even though she hates when I try to act like an adult with her she still sees me as her age as just her older sister. On nights when it's just us hanging out we have so much fun. I pray she doesnt ever make the same mistakes in life that I have, b/c she is beautiful and smart and is going somewhere in life. I wish I could just keep her locked up in the house though. The twins...omg..we had twins! lol I failed my spanish test the day we found out that there was two...wow. What a rush. Never a dull moment. And I had always said i'd be the one to have multiples but Galinda beat me to it...lol. Those two bring so much light into my life and always keep me guessing. We have Bishop the big titty baby who is like a spider monkey....lol. He climbs and is such a dare devil. He is so adorable. And then we have my Coco...I always said that she should have been my child. She is the most loveable thing but can be a bully. When I'm sad she let's me put my head in her lap and she pats me with her lil hand and gives me big kisses on my forehead. She is a doll. (she is my cute little bumblebee and a bear with big green eyes and a fuzzy lil tale...inside joke between her and I) Lu is blossoming into a young woman now and it scares the shit out of me! I pray that she survives life's cruel jokes and bumps and doesnt wind up like me still wondering.My mom is like my cheerleader. I can tell her anything and she even keeps my dirty lil secrets. I want to be like her when it comes to being at every school function and sporting event. She was the mom to every one of my friends. It's nice having such a cool down to earth mom even though she does irritate me with some things. She doesn't like to see the real world right in front of her if she doesnt want to. That made me resent her for a long time until we finally spoke about it. Even though I hate when my sister says that I am like her I hate to admit it but I am in some way but then I'm like my sister in other ways. The way I see it: I got the best of both worlds. What Flower Are You? Lilies mean: "I DARE YOU TO LOVE ME"