Mickey's profile picture

Mickey's

get stung, then get some

About Me


You may know me as "The Green Hornet" or "The Green Mouse". I was born in New Brunswick, NJ and I have an alcohol orgy content of 5.7%. I was born from the creative genious minds at Miller Brewing Co., so I have many siblings; MGD, Miller Light, High Life etc... but Im the one and only king shit! My main form is in a big ass tall 40 oz, gleaming green in the sunlight, but I also come in a small grenade form perfect for pounding on the go or on the rampage. They call my smaller form "grenades" cause once you chug enough of me, all you will want to do is toss my empty shell at unsuspecting drunken peoples heads...and innocent elderly people.I gurantee that I will go down smooth and never dissapoint you... unless you leave me sitting around for extended periods of time with no attention, then I promise to get warm and taste like the inside of an asshole. Just drink me down fast and crack open another, before you know it, I will have you feeling like a soldier of God.Another benefit to taking advantage of me is that I will provide you with constant entertainment. Remove my top and look underneath and you will be blessed with one of my famous sayings, also known as Mickeyisms! An example: " 'Macro-happy-ance'- adj. The feeling you get when the host keeps the Mickeys flowing. " If that doesnt put an appetizing grin on your face and get you in the mood to drink me till i seep out your tear ducts, then you are most likely a corpse and shouldnt be drinking my nectar in the first place you unworthy chump. UPDATE: Hey guess what you animals, the good old chaps at Miller decided to get a little crazy and do a 100% overhaul of my luscious "Mickeyisms". No longer will you look under my metallic cap and find humorous definitions that would make you laugh so hard that a little pee would come out.... I now present to you "plastered puzzles". Slug down a few of me and try your hand at cracking the picture puzzle, Da Vincci Code style you sons of bitches. Here for your pondering peepers are just a taste of what awaits you when you strip me of my armor: Can ya figure em out? Those are pretty easy... The first one is "Beer Me" and the second is "Don't Break the Seal". If ya figured em out then Congratu-fuckin-lations you are a true apostle of the Mickeys Malt Magic. If you couldn't, not only do you need to drink more, but also, raise your hand and Tommy will come hit you over your the head with a tack hammer cause you are a retard.So, even though I can't guarantee you won't wake up with a headache after sleeping with me, I do guarantee I will make your evening a splendid blackout event full of cheer and debauchery. So take your ass to the store and pick me up for your shindig tonight... I wont let ya down beotch!

My Interests

I enjoy being used in standard drink offs, gangsta beer pong, edward 40 hands, 80's music power hour, a substitute for gatorade after workouts and my personal favorite.... I love being responsible for you getting naked and shitting on your dining room table! Don't worry, you will hear all about it the next morning from friends, neighbors, family, loved ones, a homeless guy or two and if you are lucky, maybe even a friendly squirrel!The Mickeys Drinking Team are the only ones so far that have done me justice.... can you out do them? If so you are truly worthy and I applaud you in every way.

I'd like to meet:

I would like to meet pretty much everyone. In a survey that I made up for this profile, it says that 80% of the people in the United States have had a relationship with me at some point. If you know someone that is in that 20% that are prude to my touch, lend a hand and introduce us. I promise to treat them with the same love and attenition that I gave you our first time. I proimise that I will wait till our 3rd meeting to get them soo hopped up on my tipsy love nectar that they strip off their clothes and do things that they will pray they forget the next morning.One more thing, I just wanted to say thank you to all the fans, The ones that look at a nice tall lager, a glass of expensive scotch or a glass of wine and push it aside due to your love and dedication to Mickey's Malt Liquor. No matter what your parents tell you, you are special, and without you, I probably wouldn't be here. So pop open a 40oz of me and pat yourself on the back.. and your ass.

Music:

I like any music that gets you in the mood to drink me... which should be just about anything. Perhaps a little bit of MC Hammers "2 legit 2 quit" or any song by Flogging Molly, cause lets be honest Irish Punk music and Mickeys go together like Corned beef and Cabbage and ice cream. But crank up any tunes you like, cause I go with just about everything... even the soundtrack to 'Rent', go figure

Movies:

This is pretty much the same as the "music". If you are a loyal fan, you should want to slurp me down into your gullet whether you are watching 'Resevoir Dogs' or 'All Dogs Go To Heaven part Deux' So make it a Blockbuster night why don't ya!

Television:

For the love of God, see 'music' and 'movies'. I go with EVERYTHING damnit, don't ya get it?! If you need some elaboration..so be it. I heard there were some drinking games floating around that go along with 'The OC', 'Laguna Beach', 'Family Guy' and the 'Religion Channel'. So pick up a few of me and tune in to ur favorite show. My idea for a TV drinking game is that anytime there is a commercial break you have to drink me until your show comes back on. See if you can make it through the whole episode without going cross eyed or pissing your pants.... Damn Im Fun!

Books:

I don't recommend reading anything while you are kickin it with me, but If you are alone, and the Mickeyisms just aren't cuttin it for ya anymore then try reading a picture book, or perhaps some porn. Personally, I think you should keep drinkin me, so put the damn book down son!

Heroes:

Anyone that goes out, buys a case or two of me and polishes me off without flinching or breaking a sweat..... that and underage drinkers that meet me for the first time. GOT YA BITCH! Underagers will drink anything as long as you make em think it is sponsored by American Idol or Nintendo.

My Blog

Show your Mickey's love!

Hello my loyal subjects and loved ones. i thank you again for all your love and dedication. Malt liquor blackouts would be nothing without you. I thought a fun idea would be for you to post pictures a...
Posted by Mickey's on Wed, 14 Jun 2006 06:44:00 PST