Despite the uncanny resemblance, I am not and have never been a famous nude butt model. I'm really just a regular guy who used to think the way to get ahead in life was to be smart and work hard (I actually tried it...it almost works). I then considered other options but after the United States Navy phased out the last truly great attack aircraft...the A6E Intruder (below), the NBA stopped calling to ask me to do 360 slam dunks over guys 10 inches taller than me, and after two movies teaching Orlando Bloom to use a sword (he's a quick learner!) I was left with no choice really, except to use my really really ridiculously good looks and incredible charm to have fun everywhere I go.
