Full Metal Rock's Rana Kelly

About Me

As far as I go personally:
Boys, don't expect me to accept your request unless you are in a band. I am not collectible. In fact, I hate you.....Like you, and don't deny it, I am a headfuck trying to adapt to the unnatural habitat that is society. I have a bit of a skewed perspective on things, to say the least. I will not ask you about your equipment, who you would love to jam with if they were alive today, your role models, and blah blah blah blah fucking blah. I will ask you meaningful questions, if you're not stupid and I think you can answer them. If I don't ask you meaningful questions then you can go ahead and assume you're retarded. I will ask you random questions. I will ask you what the fans really want to know. Because as far as what brand of socks you wear and who your favorite singer, songwriter, guitarist, bass player, drummer is... yawn. I ask for all access, but only on your terms. My goal is to leave us both a little sore and to sneak out with a piece of work that has scrapings of you stuck on it (DNA optional and definitely not preferred). You are fascinating (sometimes) for what you do, what you want, and who you are as musicians. It's a singular lifestyle.
P.S. I won't steal hairs from your brush or look through garbage for the tissue you just sneezed in... I just want your words.

P.S.S. I will try very hard not to make you look like a jackass, but a lot of that is totally up to you.
Oh and despite that entire tirade, I'm really a very sweet and happy person! No, really I am. I'm not miserable and mean even though nearly all of my shirts are black.....and...have skulls on them...and I don't smile in most of my... pictures. At least I don't Photoshop my eyes red for fuck's sake. Some people do that. That's so retarded.
Thanks to:
for the stellar web design on FullMetalRock.com!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The man rides English, (and is hot, and is completely hilarious and is not afraid to be a clear and strong falsetto in a world of talentless cookie monsters...and is the unrequited love of my everlasting brokenhearted life) That means jack to 99.9% of you, I know. Anyway, back to horses...Cowboys, for the most part, like to think they can ride. The truth is that the Western saddle is more like a car seat for an infant than it is a saddle. You never attain a decent seat riding in a Western saddle. If you even consider yourself a half-way skilled rider, you must be able to ride English.... Yes, I know, I'm a veritable snot. 99.9% of cowboys don't know what veritable means, but they do know what snot is....

My biggest (and only) influence in respectable journalism today who is getting ready to go over to an undisclosed location in the Persian Gulf at an undisclosed time... MY HERO! EMMY TO YOU, MY FRIEND, EMMY TO YOU!

Any person/place/thing with a voice or an instrument (not necessarily musical either, because tools are handy)!

My Blog

Unknown Hinson! Ha ha! Betcha didn't think we'd do it! Wrong!

Unknown Hinson is the last Country Western Troubador. Think undead Johnny Cash with a heavy guitar sound in a badass suit and a really bad attitude. Yeah, baby. What in the world are we doing inter...
Posted by on Tue, 19 May 2009 13:13:00 GMT

Seventh Void Interview is Up!

I had a great chat with Kenny. Really exciting for me as he's one of my heroes, not just for the music but also because of his writing. He's amazing! If you haven't read Sex Is Dead, you really nee...
Posted by on Sat, 16 May 2009 03:28:00 GMT

New Interview with Seasons After is up!

Please check it out, they really crunch. Michael was nice enough to spend some time chatting with me and shared some great pics and the story behind their version of "Cry Little Sister" off of The Lo...
Posted by on Mon, 04 May 2009 23:44:00 GMT

SLAYER and MARILYN MANSON and MORE!

I have officially gotten word today that I am going to be interviewing not only Slayer but Marilyn Manson as well. Not only that but I am also interviewing other bands to be announced. I will offer ...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Apr 2009 22:16:00 GMT

Anthony Esposito (Lynch Mob, Ace Frehley) NEEDS YOUR HELP!

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT PEOPLE!go to myspace dot com safehavenarabiansthere are links all over here but the font is set to black, sorry.Some of you may know how it feels to share a special bond with a ho...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Feb 2009 16:42:00 GMT

FUCKING HERE IT COMES! THE MAYHEM FESTIVAL!!!

SLAYERMARILYN MANSONKILLSWITCH ENGAGE BULLET FOR MY VALENTINECANNIBAL CORPSETHE BLACK DAHLIA MURDERJOB FOR A COWBOYBEHEMOTHWHITECHAPELTRIVIUMALL THAT REMAINSGOD FORBIDNOW, LET'S JUST PUT THIS LIST IN ...
Posted by on Wed, 18 Feb 2009 16:47:00 GMT

Throwing Color and The Veer Union

I have interviewed Drew from Throwing Color and Eric from The Veer Union, these two handsome bands are fresh faced out of Jersey and Canada respectively and they're ready to be yanked out of skinny je...
Posted by on Wed, 18 Feb 2009 07:22:00 GMT

Back to work....

Here I come again (not on my own, ha ha)! Sorry, yes, that was almost a Whitesnake quote. Eep. Well, I decided it's about time I got a life and got back to work... The world waits for no women!New...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Jan 2009 20:09:00 GMT

HIATUS...

Hello all,I'm on hiatus for interviews for a short while. It won't be long, I'm recovering from illness and some tragedy at the moment, but I'll be back in the game as soon as possible. Fo...
Posted by on Thu, 25 Dec 2008 03:51:00 GMT

Cast of Kings

Soon to be up! (and not soon enough, hint hint Downshifter! ) I interview Steve from one of my fave street bands from Hollywood EVER: COK! Cast of Kings! Don't miss! We cover shaving ball sacs a...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Dec 2008 02:17:00 GMT