Blacktime Marburry

I run a facility deep in the Missouri backwoods where we prepare the young and the not-so-young for survival in the various chambers of the underworld, the most crucial lesson being a defense againt Satan using the power of compound interest. When I'm away from work, my mind tends to wander. To a fault! Sometimes I'll end up filing or defiling, but usually there's at least a tinge of debauchery and/or depravity involved in my "free-time" exploits. I put free time in quotes there because we're actually all slaves to our minds, which really licks because our minds are linked into one consciousness and so everything that everyone does and has ever done has been but to serve the same ultimate purpose. Not only that, but our perceived "individuality" continues even in death, thusly making nirvana damn near impossible. Sucks, right?
Anyway, I don't want this to be a lament on the nature of existence, so let me just say that I'm a great dude, I look like a freakin movie star actor or pop singing sensation, and my friends all tell me, independently of one another, that I should run for President in 2012 when I'm 36. What do YOU think? My platform would be simple enough: Supply-side economics to the max, yo! None of that half-assed Reaganomics-type baloney in MY administration. We could solve that pesky world hunger / poverty thing with a steely assuredness, and that would be all I need to get elected into a second term. Then I would embrace my lame duck status and relax, attend movie premieres, and tell foreign dignitaries EXACTLY what I think of them.
In summary, do good deeds and increase protein consumption as you age!