David

don't clip your fingernails on the subway. seriously, who do you think you are? that's disgusting. you people who do this are the ass crack of society and you need a good wiping. why don't you all go eat at the olivegarden and order a frozen drink with champagne in it and tell me you don't taste the alcohol...it's champagne and frozen peach compote...order a hard liquor if you want to get "twisted". oh, and telling me that it's your birthday does not automatically entitle you to a free drink or an "extra strong" drink. who goes to the olivegarden to get drunk? just think about that for a minute. and do not order a shot of jager or a purple motherfucker. we serve pinot noir and tuscan breezes. we don't even have shot glasses so ther will be no irish car bombs today, my sincere apologies.and you can't simply will something to appear just by saying it's name. you're looking at the draft beers, bud, bud light, and sam adams. there's only three. you even ask, "what do you have on tap?" and i respectfully reply "bud, bud light, and sam adams." and yet you still say, will complete confidence, "I'll have a bass." ......wow. and when i'm behind the bar by myself and there are four rows of people in line for drinks, coming to the corner of the bar, which is stantioned off mind you, and pronouncing with complete arrogance and a general feeling of being inadequate in one's own daily life, "EXCUSE ME", don't worry, i'm going to just ignore the other 30 people who have been waiting patiently fot 5-10 minutes for a drink because you're the only one who thought to ask outloud. no, no, you're right. all of these other people are just here to watch me ignore you. we all got together before you came out tonight and decided to play a trick on you. funny right? but seriously, what can i get you? an incredible hulk, really. hhhm, oh and your girl needs a sour apple martini that i'm going to make just so she can tell me that it taste weak and she wants an extra shot. it's a martini, what exactly do you think is in it besides alcohol? and where would you like this alleged extra shot to go since i already over poured you martini glass to the brim, anticipating this little exchange of words that will ultimately end with you saying "oh, for real?"....well let me tell you sir, yes, i am definatley "for real"davidgonyo.comthemagicproject.com