Count Scottula - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hey ho, I'm Count Scottula (a.k.a, Scott Doggy Dog, Scottdog, Nova Scottius, Cat Features), I'm 20 centuries old and I come from the south east of England (Canterbury). (For those who are too fucking stupid and/or visually impaired to look 2 inches to the left of the fucking screen under my name). I work as a storeman at kent college...well, I say work, I really mean be my total cuntish self and get away with doing minimal work...ha ha ha, fucking pricks! but I'm hoping to get a new job soon...fuck knows what it'll be (probably a rent boy or something...ha ha ha, no, don't worry folks, I ain't a shirtlifter, I looooove the ladies! Here is some useless trivia about me: Favourite band: Type O Negative Favourite film: Pulp Fiction Favourite colour: Green Favourite food: Steak Favourite drink: coffee Favourite smell: petrol Favourite animal: cat Favourite season: winter Favourite cereal: Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes Favourite crisp flavour: BBQ Favourite part of the female anatomy: Tits Favourite sex position: Doggy Turn-ons: Big tits, very long hair, piercing eyes, sexy laugh, viciousness, animalistic bedside manner (biting, scratching, cutting) Turn-offs: drugs, farts, burps, being a whore, deceit, irritating laugh, obesity, ugliness (duh)

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

This will be a lot quicker and easier if I just list the people who I don't want to meet: emos, chavs, posh people, scroungers, druggies, tramps, ravers, morons, people who are always happy all the time and philip schofield. If you are none of the above then feel free to drop me a line if you've got something interesting to say, want to say hello, got any good jokes or even if you're a pompous, idiotic metalhead who has finally got bored of wanking over at the gates/unearth and wants to tell me how "non-metal" I am for liking bands like the smiths and James Brown and Jose Gonzalez and having the balls to admit it. Go on, why not? it'll give me a good laugh anyway! ha ha, one in your fucking missus, prick.

My Blog

Rage, Bile And Vitriol: IV

Welcome to RBV!!! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been more preoccupied with trying not to go insane or top meself so haven't really been able to blog. But now I can and d'you know what has pr...
Posted by on Sat, 10 May 2008 14:56:00 GMT

Rage, Bile And Vitriol: III

Welcome to RBV!! Today's top topic: Chavs Ah yes, the dreaded 'C' word (apart from cancer): CHAVS (I know which one I prefer: it doesn't talk, it doesn't move, it just kills you with less of the fucki...
Posted by on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:51:00 GMT

Rage, Bile and Vitriol: II

Hey ho, welcome back kids, to another hate column by the coolest count in town...ME!!!! Today's top topic: Christianity Now, before you lot start thinking, "oh, that fucking prick Count Scottula, he's...
Posted by on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 12:50:00 GMT

Rage, bile and vitriol: I

Hello there, fuck-a-doodle-doo and welcome to the very first RBV blog EVER! ok then, don't look too ecstatic, will ya... Today's top topic: RACISM Yeah, I bet some of you guys have read my profile and...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:46:00 GMT

Rant

I don't know why, but I always have trouble expressing my feelings about the world around me...it's like having a really nasty shit brewing and brewing in your gut and just not being able to let it fu...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:28:00 GMT

Bands Update

Yeah, I’m fucking bored so I thought I’d write some of this shit down to pass the time. Don’t really know what to write ’cos it’s not like I have anything worth saying re...
Posted by on Sat, 05 Apr 2008 21:49:00 GMT

A quote to live by...

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not"-Andre Gide A simple motto that I live by, every single fucking day...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:17:00 GMT

Count Scottula’s joke page

Hey kids, has count scottula got some jokes for you! oh yes he has indeed! I’ll get the ball rollin: Q. What has 8 legs and makes women scream? A. Gang Rape! If anyone can do bette...
Posted by on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Shmeckles!

Schmeckles!!
Posted by on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:49:00 GMT