Selling out! Everything must go! |
I have been the worst blogger ever. After soaring to heights like the hanson poem and touching lows like the guatemalan vest (the Cadillac El Dorado of Blogs, if you ask me) I have spent the last few ...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Jul 2006 15:08:00 GMT |
You know what blows? |
You know what blows? Leaf blowers, that's what.They clear the sidewalks and driveways in my neighborhood at 7 in the morning. A whole crew of Mexican guys (cuz they're taking all our jobs man, good Am...
Posted by on Mon, 19 Jun 2006 09:39:00 GMT |
read now, play later (by later, I mean soon)! |
At the close of last night's über-fab dinner party, hosted by Phloyd and his personfriend, I promised to post some nuggets from my motherlode of lines that have actually worked. I will try to protect ...
Posted by on Sun, 14 May 2006 16:43:00 GMT |
no one wants a pinky in their vagina |
No one wants a pinky in their vagina. Don't ask me how I know this. Just don't do it. Not ever.
Posted by on Sun, 07 May 2006 15:11:00 GMT |
sweet pussy shirt |
I just got a new pussy shirt. It's pretty sweet.It joins a proud tradition of pussy shirts harking back to the turn of the century, when I decided, fresh out of my failed first marriage, that I should...
Posted by on Sat, 06 May 2006 12:19:00 GMT |
I am the congregation, I am the preacher, I am the first church of Mary J. Blige. |
Can I get hallelujah for holleration?Can I get an amen up in this dancerie?I used to just listen to Mary J. Blige. When I didn't know the 411, she gave me comfort, but she wasn't alive in my heart. Ne...
Posted by on Wed, 03 May 2006 14:17:00 GMT |
dream sequence part 2 |
"This is the Dream where Tia Carrere was my Girlfriend and Everybody was in Yakima and Knew Each Other and it Seemed so Normal that I Thought it would Ruin Things if I Started Being Confused and Askin...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 08:23:00 GMT |
welcome to the dream sequence |
I am an extraordinarily sensitive creature with a gargantuan capacity for inspiration. In order to accomplish anything outside the realm of poetry, I have, for the past four years, limited myself to o...
Posted by on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 20:04:00 GMT |
why not just name your little girl sucky marie suckerton? |
Aprils suck. Not the month of April, though the local monsoons have made this one particularly miserable. No, girls named April generally suck.Though this is not common knowledge, Shanti and I have a ...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 17:51:00 GMT |
full-time consumer activist, part-time lover |
I hope I don't spoil a burgeoning friendship by publicizing private correspondence, but I really need to share this with the world. Some weeks ago, I posted a little tribute to JetBlue on my blog. I k...
Posted by on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 18:11:00 GMT |
