About Me
A guy walks into a bar with his pet octopus. He says, "I bet anybody in this bar $50 that my octopus can play your musical instrument. Any takers?"The teenage punk next to him says, "Sure thing, dude. I've got my Fender here with me, and if that squid can jam, I'll fork over the loot."The kid hands the guitar to the octopus. The octopus stares at it, turns it over, puts it to his ear, tunes it, and starts playing some Hendrix! The whole bar stares in amazement as the octopus finishes his solo, and his owner pockets the 50 bucks.A well-dressed twit speaks up from the back of the bar. "Well, sir, I'm a professional pianist, [chuckle], and I happen to have my practice keyboard with me. If that octopus can play the piano, I'll give you 50 dollars.""No problem," says the man. He hands the keyboard to his octopus. The octopus puts it down in front of him, pokes tentatively at a few keys, then breaks into a Mozart sonata! The twit is reduced to tears by the beautiful music, and gladly hands over the 50 dollars. "Is that everyone?"The bartender waddles over and says, "Well, laddie, I do have me bagpipes back here. Hell, if your pet can play those, I'll give you 100!""Piece of cake," he says. He gives the bagpipes to the octopus. The octopus picks them up, turns them over, sniffs them, squeezes them, and pauses. He looks as confused as an octopus can look. Finally, he puts them back down on the bar.The man grows concerned. "Octopus!" he stage-whispers, "this is our bread and butter, here! Why don't you play them?"So the octopus goes...
