I piss excellence!!I am an influential person with a magnetic personality. People are naturally drawn to me and most of the time this isn’t a bad thing!! When I walk onto the room you will know it, but with the good definitely comes the bad. I seem to attract female with very aggressive psychotic personalities who call me 20 times a day to see what I’m doing, and have a hard time letting go. To rid myself of this horrible life long problem I had a cleansing ritual with a Priest, Buddhist Monk, and a Rabbi. This cured my problem of my stalking women, but now every time I walk into a pet store white rabbits would bark at me. I have done some pretty amazing things in my life. Growing as a kid I wrestled alligators. I climbed to the top of El Captian out in California. Down in the Caribbean I dove underwater and seen old pirate ships. In Israel I seen both where Jesus was born and crucified. I rode my motorcycle from Pensacola, Florida to Anchorage, Alaska while wearing the same clothing for two weeks, but I did brush my teeth every day. I saw the Dropkick Murphys in Boston during St Patrick’s Day week-end jumped in the mosh pit a survived. I traveled to Bike Week in Daytona Beach, Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Fantasy Fest in Key West, the Running of the Bulls in Spain, Boi Bumba in Brazil, Westman Island Festival in Iceland, Oktoberfest in Germany, Festa De Sao Joao in Portugal, and many other events around the world. I rescued a small kitten from tree top to stop a little girl from crying. I taught Rachael Ray how to cook. I caught a touchdown pass from Drew Brees. I went on a date with Ali Larter, and she didn't leave me alone for two months afterwards. Using only a paper clip, two acorns, and a piece of tape I saved the life of a man who had been shot seven times. I won the Boston marathon. I launched a fighter jet off the deck of an aircraft carrier. I went out drinking with Paul Prehodka and Jim Pendergraph and lived to talk about it. I benched pressed over 400lbs. There is no feat that I can not accomplish if I put my mind to it.
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