Dear Santa,I know you probly wondering why I writing yuh one day
after Christmas but after opening mi presents dem
yesterday, I just had was to write yuh. Santa mi was
a very good girl all year round. Mi listen to mi mummy
when she talk to mi and ah help out wid di chores dem
round di house. Ah even help di neigbor pickney dem
do fi dem chores to.Santa ah studied real hard in school
this year, so hard till mi all come fuss inna di
class.Santa when ah write mi Christmas list to yuh dis year,
ah ask yuh for a Barbie princess doll, ah Barbie
kitchen, ah Dora the Explorer computer game, a
cyabbage patch doll and ah monapolly game.
So Santa, how the blood claat after readi ng mi list
yuh leave under di Christmass tree ah f******* light
up yo-yo, one plastic tea-cup set and ah f****** no
name dolly dat look like she have polio and ah dead
from AIDS?Santa is either yuh blind or yuh cyah blood claat
read!!! Every year ah say ah would stop believing in
yuh and like ah dyam fool mi always give yuh ah next
chance, but not ah f******-gain, yuh hear mi Santa?
Not a bloodclaat. Yuh hear what ah say Santa? Yuh
f***** fat red rass yuh.Yuh see all nex year, yuh
better dont try squeeze yuh big fat batty thru mi
louvres dem, because Santa ah swear ah going f**** yuh
up. It going to be me, you and dis sharp blood claat
knife, so mi can juk yuh inna yuh belly.
Yuh hear mi sah? Mi ah go stab up yuh Bloodcaat.
Imagine, yuh give that likkle cock eye gyal Sally from
cross di road everything that she ax fah. So much so
dat she all nuh have nuh room fi wal k round she house.Santa, yuh see you and dem f***** reindeer, di whole
ah unno better thing twice bout land pon my house top
next year, especially that old drunkard Rudolph wid
him rass red nose. Yuh see all him, mek
him just blink him rass nose just one time, ah swear
him woulda wish it was green. cause ah wooda out di
light so f***** fast dat you and dem blasted reindeer
wouldn't able fi find unnu way back to di north pole.
Yuh see all nex year Santa, ah will be back to mi good
old self. Dat's right Santa. Ah not going give mummy
nuh trouble or cause nuh havoc roun'ere . And Santa, a
goin wait pon you patiently ....ah goin' wait pon yuh
paitently with ah big blood claat rock stone fi yuh
backside. And den when you and them blasted reindeer
dat favour some dyam oversize goat wid tree brand ah
grow otta dem head top, com ho-ho hoing down pon i old
rusty zinc nex Chirstmas.....BOOP!!!!!
Is one rass lick inna yuh blood claat head.
Santa, ah going done yuh blood claat, Memba dat yuh
hear Santa. Try Memba datLove
Likkle Keisha
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