When I was in 1st grade the assgnment was "In 5 sentences What would you do if a cat knocked over your Christmas Tree? My reply was 3 words "I'd Kill it"
Mrs. Defratis could not have imagined me growing up to be such a fine young man. With such accomplishments as shooting the mailman in my highschool days I go off to college. The folks at Longwood could not wait to see how a person that spent his last period of the day in highschool working with the mentality retarded would benifit such a fine institution of higher learning. By the end of my Freshman year I was kicked out of Longwood and to quote an administrator as being "the sickest individual to set foot on this campus". Well my whole summer savings and a good lawyer later I was back on campus to right my wrongs...within a semester I was back infront of the Dean in which we were on a first name basis for some alcohol charges. I had a drinking problem they said and off to an alcohol counsler I went. I guess I was on his proverbial list. Instead of sticking around I moved to Nags Head to work and make it rich. I returned the next semester with 42 dollars in my bank account. Not enough money to buy books, so I did the most logical thing and spent it that night at a bar and did not buy books. 250 hours of community service and 6 years later the son of a bitch got a diploma from Longwood University. After college I intended to make it big in the business world so logically I went to work renting cars. This was a job in high demand and only the best of the best get hired. I was honored. I moved back in with my parents. I prospered as a man throught the years in my parent's house living paycheck to paycheck. I Bought a truck I could not afford, financed sponanious trips at 21% on my Discover Card. Not willing to give up the good ole days I ran my truck into the side of my Frat House at 3am as a 23 y/o college graduate doing laps as if I was Cole Trickle. One day I decided to move out and headed on over to the Alamo with all of my belongings...a mattress, shotgun and a basket of clothes. That lasted a cool 6 months where the only thing I could say I did worth a shit was grow a garden and paint a Texas Flag in the floor of the garage. Then I went back home. So here I sit at 27 on Myspace at 6:01PM. A college graduate that was on Dean Pearson's list, aspiring to marry a mail order bride with no desire to own my own home, living with my parents thinking about my next paycheck. I say to you the republic of Myspace I am no palm reader, but it is safe to say my future is so bright I need to wear shades.
You Are a Margarita
You aren't just the life of the party, you are the party!
You mix a good drink, bust out some great music, and know how to get down.
What Mixed Drink Are You?
Everett Phillips will go to jail for ...
Making lewd ginger bread men and giving them to carolers at Christmas
'What sexual activity will you go to jail for?' at QuizUniverse.com
