Joseph Umi - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Read this and chuckle lightly cause you feel guilty that its not that funny but since im such a nice guy you figure you owe me at least a chuckle...right?...guys?...-- DO IT!!!! /A&gt

My Interests

Movies, staying one step ahead and Coca-Cola with no ice.

I'd like to meet:

1. Ralph 2. Y. Mom 3. Britney Spears' mom 4. John Denver (to let him know how full of shit he is) 5. Anyone who has ever been a mascot.

Music:

The Roots, Talib, Mos Def, J-Live, A Tribe Called Quest, Matisyahu, Little Brother, Murs, anyone who isn't retarted or sounds like they are (except for Fabolous--misspells his name AND sounds retarted and yet...entertains me so). I also enjoy the musical stylings of Yanni (pre-porn-stache of course...), Michael Bolton, Air Supply, and Latoya Jackson (the most talented of all the Latoya's)

Movies:

1. Casablanca 2. The Godfather II 3. The Godfather 4. Dumb and Dumber 5. Amadeus 7. Office Space 8. Memento 9. Scarface and 10. That one where the pizza delivery guy wants to film a porno...oh wait...

Television:

Arrested Development, Adult Swim, a little show called Homicide: Life on the Streets, infomercials for jewelry, doggy super bowl, shows about rashes and sporting events. oh, and porn...lots and lots of porn.

Books:

I recently read an incredible story about the coming of age of a young monkey and his incredible journey through the bureaucracy of the local hospital after he was admitted by a certain stranger with a yellow hat. Riveting.

Heroes:

My mom. Your mom. Yo grandmama (where applicable).

My Blog

HATE

theres a lot of things i hate--white people (this will actually get its own post here in the future), chinese people, korean people, japanese people, canadian people, black people, indian people, sout...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:27:00 PST

ELEVATORS

are elevators the weirdest things ever or is it just me? its like if you were to ask me and 4 complete strangers to stand in my closet at home for 20 seconds while someone rearranges t...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Thu, 17 Nov 2005 04:15:00 PST

Ass Whuppin

so i heard a story this morning about a 19 year old kid who was home from college. his dad asked him how school was going. he responded that he had failed some classes last semester. ...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Wed, 16 May 2007 12:47:00 PST

STALLS

my grandmother had a saying--"fools names and fools places often appear in public places" (take that Messr. Lincoln, Washington, Adams and Franklin). so, why must people write on the walls of ba...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Fri, 17 Feb 2006 01:11:00 PST

DONT DO IT...

ok....something that should just not be allowed, ever....under any circumstances. if you have to go to the bathroom thats fine, its natural after all. however, there are times when you should ignore t...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 04:51:00 PST

I HATE HALLOWEEN

now, i know it isnt a very popular stance to hate halloween but i do not care. i hate it. there are just so many things i hate about it. i hate commercials that tie into the whole "s...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Wed, 26 Oct 2005 11:28:00 PST

PICKING YOUR NOSE

When did this become such a negative thing?? i bet in ancient rome this was a revered practice (plus it was real dusty so they probably picked like crazy). plus, what am i supposed to do?? just let it...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Mon, 24 Oct 2005 01:10:00 PST

HOW ARE YOU?

Ok, so lets say someone comes up to you and says Hey, how you doin? Why cant i just say Im great, thanks.? Why do i have to pretend that im interested in how theyre doing? Why do i have to ask just to...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Mon, 24 Oct 2005 01:09:00 PST

PRINCE IS COOL

How is it that prince is so cool? i mean, hes a friggin jehova's witness for the love of crap and have you seen his last video?? hes just cool. just standin there and cool. hes got the worst hair and ...
Posted by Joseph Umi on Mon, 24 Oct 2005 01:00:00 PST