I am uhm....well....I'm a lot of things. I do a lot of things too actually. But aside from my constant working, my main goal is to deliver Awesomeness unto the masses. That’s right folks. If you’re feeling just a wee bit awesome today it could very well be the aura that I’m trying to project outward throughout the land. Once when I was a youngin…. I had a dream in which the Lord spoke with me. And in that dream he relayed a message to me which goes as follows…. “ Jor-El, you are mighty and wise and you will go on to do great things. Your hair smells of fine soaps and your penis is of the perfect size and shape. You must go on and project the awesomeness that I have bestowed upon you in order to bring some balance to that which is impure and reeks of doucheiness. Now that my message has reached you, tomorrow you will begin anew. Your Spiderman action figures will carry with them a new light and your Big Wheel will be encrusted with the word of the heavens. Though you may not understand my message now, it will come of great use to you later on. Now go forth on your path and do thin bidding. And please Jor-El….give me a little bit more money the next time you go to the church. I have spoken!†Well anyway that’s what the big man said and that’s merely what I’m trying to do.
