blowjob for a cowoby, ding dong tennessee's wildest rockabillyband was formed by the well known local barroom hero jim poncharello presley, son of francisco poncharello a corrupt cop and an uknown pub waitress probably named sue presley. jim wanted to play wild rockabilly since he was a child but never had a chance to because he started drinkin at the age of 4 and left all his money at the local bar's counter.
one day after one of the usual pub brawls jim seemed to be disappointed and bored with the same routine everyday. so he decided to pack a barrel of whishkey, a sixpack and a pack of smokes, put it all on his tractor, called "camaleontico brook" (did i mention he was a farmer at that time?) and started traveling the country. he had no idea where he was cause he never had the chance to study geography or anything else because no school would accept him due to his rough behaviour and drinking problem. anyway there he was heading somewhere up the country or down the country or left or right. he stopped at almost every bar but there was much more desert around him than bars.
after a while he came to a place called roswell where he almost run over a little man with purple skin. jim tried to talk to him but he was speaking a strange language (which later turned out to be an experimental klingon dialect, a sort of esperanto for klingonianz and ormifians). jim decided to take him with him cause he thought he was an illegal immigrant who needed help and gave him a shot of whiskey first of all. but he didn't know the name of this strange creature. so he decided to call him like his favourite superhero, the only toy he ever had as a child: space snøid, a kind of scandinavian superman or batman or slurm mckenzie, whatever.
space snøid landed from kdsajlhè$gr5 an extremely far planet in the scamorz11 system way back in 1969 and soon found longhaired friends who gave him some terrestrial "mind expanding" substances which he liked but they had some side effects for the poor creature. his hair grew extremely long, his skin turned from a healthy green to a strange purple, he started loving plants and having long conversations with them and, most important he couldn't remember where his spaceship was (later on some farmer found it with snøids brother clark in it, but that's another story). well, jim's travel went on with his new mate who seemed to like the records jim listened to as he was driving. it was some really wild rockabilly all the time, see. some real old songs nothing of that new shit. stuff by elvez, aaron, hank, johnny, jimmy, jerry, charlie and so on. well, space snøid enjoyed this sound he never heard before very much and very soon became very good in singing this songs even if he didn't understand a word. he also cut his hair and stopped talking to flowers and plants concentrating on more convenient things.
meanwhile the duo came to a very very very hot place. and when i say hot i mean hot. like caliente, you know? there was a lot of people wearing strange big hats and cooking on stones or whatever because it was so damn hot there. soon they got to an abandoned part of the city they where in - they didn't feel really well and they soon understood why. a group of people came towards them wearing those enormous hats but also a cloth covering their face. like bandidos, you know? wait...they actually were bandidos! madre de dios! they stopped the camaleontico brook threatening our two friends with knives, guns, machetes, saws, neutronbombs, grenades, pencils, toothpicks and even guitars. but the only thing they had was the whiskey. they offered them some and the bandidos understood that they were wasting their time trying to rob those guys, so they decided to throw a party with all they had robbed during the day. bajate por los chescos! as the party went on the bandidos started a mariachi jam session. if you are on a mariachi jam session you absolutely have to play at least one song otherways you'll insult the bandidos who in this case absolutely have to cut your throat and your tongue out or they'll insult the old bandido council which will have consequences you better not know. so there it came to jim and space snøid's turn. they both didn't know how to play a song but they started with one they both knew well (they kept listening to jim's rockabilly records, remember?). snøid started singing and jim played the rythm on an improvised drumset. soon one of the bandidos who was impressed by the song started jamming with them and as the party went on it was clear that they had to start a band. the mariachi bandido's name was jorge ventura but everybody called him "la muerte", don't know why though. fact is the bandido joined the crew on their journey who now needed a bassman to become a proper band.
but first jorge had to meet some pochos and cholos in the city of el pueblo de nuestra señora la reina de los angeles de porciuncula, for business. the meeting point was the local skatepark. while jorge was doing his business transactions jim and space snøid watched the skaters doing their tricks and they were impressed because none of them had ever seen something like it. one of the skaters suddenly stopped when he saw space snøid. this guys name is henry roll.ons, the local skatepark hero who couldn't believe his eyes. see, he is very obsessed with aliens and he knew that one day he would have met one! being this his true passion the skatehero decided to follow them on their journey because he wanted to study the little creature even if that meant giving up his skatesponsorship and city life. he also learned playing doublebass to stay with them as long as he could.
so now the band was complete and they only had to play gigs but first space snøid wanted to pay a visit to one of his cousins who lives somewhere in the desert of nevada. henry was enthusiastic about that. he always wanted to visit that place because it is a secret place but i can't explain it further or the secret services will chase me. anyhow our fresh new band was heading up to the place where there was nothing auround it except sand. at one certain point the army stopped the camaleontico brook telling them to piss off but when they saw space snøid they took them with them. they drove a lot and got to a subterranean place where in fact space snøid's cousin was living and also a lot of other strange creatures. they were having a party at that time but some good sound was missing. so the band decided to take their chance and started playing their cool new rockin songs. it was a hell of a party! the morning after the band had to move on because they wanted to play around a bit. and so they did. but as they walked out they realized that space snøid was missing. the army wanted to keep him there like the other strange creatures. so they walked back in to the lab where the purple little man was just sitting there listening. he was listening to one of the doctors playing guitar. the whole band was totally impressed on how wild and desperate this nerdy bookworm was when he played guitar. so they asked him to go with them but he wasn't talking really because he is so shy when he's not playing. still, he walked out with them (they were hiding spacesnøid in the whiskey barrell which was now empty and needed a refill) joining the band in their rockin and rollin journey!
they played their first proper gig at the famous stripclub "chupada para un charro" (which means blowjob for a cowboy in the dialect jorge speaks) where they rocked the place the whole night. after the gig jim met the most wonderful girl he has ever seen. she gave him the best time in his life (if you know what i mean ;D ) and disappeared after that. jim couldn't remember her name and where he put her phone number (he probably drank too much) but he knew that no other woman could make him feel like that night so he promised himself to keep on playing in pubs, bars, caves, graveyards all over the world hoping that the girl would recognise their sound and go back to her cowboy. in her honour jim called the band "blowjob for a cowboy". how romantic, isn't it?
well, now you know the story of our friends. if you hear their wild sound don't be shy; get your ass in the pit and help them to rock the place and the counter! and if you're a girl and really want to make them happy...well...just follow what their name suggests...
