Who are you people and where is my horse?!?!?!?!?!

One of my favorite quotes How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it, why was I not informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had been bought by a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn't it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the manager—I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom shall I make my complaint?
Things one should watch out for * anal rape * quicksand * body lice * evil spirits * gridlock * acid rain * continental drift * labor violence * flash floods * rabies * torture * bad luck * calcium deficiency * falling rocks * cattle stampedes * bank failure * evil neighbors * killer bees * organ rejection * lynching * toxic waste * unstable dynamite * religious fanatics * prickly heat * price fixing * moral decay * hotel fires * loss of face * stink bombs * bubonic plague * neo-Nazis* friction * cereal weevils * failure of will * chain reactions * soil erosion * mail fraud * dry rot * voodoo curses * broken glass * snake bites * parasites * white slavery * public ridicule * faithless friends * random violence * breach of contract * family scandals * charlatans * transverse militias * structural defects * race riots * sun spots * rogue elephants * wax buildup * killer frost * jealous coworkers * root canals * mental fatigue * corporal punishment * sneak attacks * peer pressure* vigilantes * birth defects * false advertising * ungrateful children * financial ruin * mildew * loss of priveleges * bad drugs * ill-fitting shoes * widespread chaos * stray bullets * runaway trains * chemical spills * locusts * airline food * shipwrecks * prowlers * bathtub accidents * faulty merchandise * terrorism * discrimination * wrongful cremation * carbon deposits * beef tapeworms * taxation without representation * escaped maniacs * sunburn * abandonment * threatening letters * entropy * nine-mile fever* poor workmanship * absentee landlord * solitary confinement * depletion of the ozone layer * unworthiness * intestinal bleeding * defrocked priests * loss of equilibrium * disgruntled employees * global warming * card sharks * poisoned meat * nuclear accidents * broken promises * contamination of the water supply * obscene phone calls * nuclear winter * wayward girls * mutual assured destruction * rampaging moose * the greenhouse effect * cluster headaches * social isolation * Dutch elm disease * contraction of the universe * paper cuts * eternal damnation * the wrath of God * PARANOIA!

I would love to live in a world where guns and bombs are meaningless ones worth would be judged on their actions and merit. Also their kung fu! thats is the most important thing. Mine is pretty strong so bring it!!!!!