I was born inside of a tiny house. We had to build a set of stairs because my hips were too beautiful. The best thing about me is that I never use the word "". I'm sure you can guess what it is, after a brief conversation. But sadly, I never say it, so, well, lets not get redundent here.People often tell me that I look a lot like JP Morgan. I understand the comparison, but I don't appreciate the way they look at me as if I'm going to try to pull something.One thing that really bugs me about most people, is that they won't come up with a good soy/tofu imitation of salisbury steak. I mean, it's the shittiest meat there is, and it's mushy, that should be really easy to replicate. And it's all based around gravy and mushrooms, how hard is it just to use mushroom gravy? Throw a side of really crappy spirtal noodle based mac n cheese on the side, and they'd never notice the difference. I mean, it's not that hard people.Also, for the last time, it's not that I'm distant, I just don't find you very interesting. I love the way your eyes light up whenever you get excited though. It's really heartwarming to see someone get excited over something so pointless. I really do envy you, but stop talking about me behind my back. I don't care if it's all positive. I just hate the idea that the idea of myself will be passed around from person to person ala that "telephone" game, until people expect a different version of me. I'd rather they sum it all up on the spot.I really fucking need a dog.
