Your partner apologizes and says the hurtful behavior won't happen again. But you fear it will. At times you may start to doubt your own judgment, or wonder whether you're going crazy. You may even feel like you've imagined the whole thing. But the emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If this sounds familiar, you may be the victim of domestic violence.Also called domestic abuse, intimate partner violence or battering, domestic violence occurs between people in intimate relationships. It can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse. Men are sometimes abused by female or male partners, but domestic violence is most often directed toward women. It can happen in heterosexual or lesbian relationships.Unfortunately, domestic violence against women is common. It happens to teenage girls and women of all backgrounds. As many as 4 million women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners in the United States each year.Recognizing abuse: Know the signs. It may not be easy to identify abuse, especially at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. For example, abuse may begin with occasional hurtful comments, jealousy or controlling behavior. As it gets worse, the abuse may become more frequent, severe or violent. As the cycle of abuse worsens, your safety or the safety of your children may be in danger.You may be a victim of abuse if you're in a relationship with someone who:Controls finances, so you have to ask for money Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you Acts jealous or possessive, or accuses you of being unfaithful Tries to control how you spend your time, who you see or talk to, where you go or what you wear Wants you to get permission to make everyday decisions Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs Scares you by driving recklessly Threatens to kill him or herself You are very likely in an abusive relationship if you have a relationship with someone who does even one of the following:Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, or chokes you or threatens you with violence or a weapon Forces you to have sexual intercourse or engage in sexual acts against your will Calls you names, insults you or puts you down Prevents you from going to work or school Stops you from seeing family members and friends Hurts, or threatens to hurt you, your children or pets Destroys your property Controls your access to medicines Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it Says that his or her abusive behavior is no big deal or even denies doing it Tries to force you to drop charges Tries to prevent you from calling the police or seeking medical care....An abusive relationship: It's about power and control Though there are no typical victims of domestic violence, abusive relationships do share similar characteristics. In all cases, the abuser aims to exert power and control over his partner.Although a lot of people think domestic violence is about anger, it really isn't. Batterers do tend to take their anger out on their intimate partner. But it's not really about anger. It's about trying to instill fear and wanting to have power and control in the relationship. In an abusive relationship, the abuser may use varying tactics to gain power and control, including:Emotional abuse. Uses put-downs, insults, criticism or name-calling to make you feel bad about yourself. Denial and blame. Denies that the abuse occurs and shifts responsibility for the abusive behavior onto you. This may leave you confused and unsure of yourself.