Im 30 and looking to find some friends to chat with and get to know. Im pretty shy but like to be around people and enjoy a good time. But usually pretty lonely, looking for someone to spend some quality time with. I like to be active, play softball, like camping and swimming. Sports geek... Can't wait for Packer season!Here is a little peek at who I am, or think I am - I never EVER acted on gay feelings I had held since my early adolescence when i had a fun night when i was 14, but regretted not following through. then last year I came to realize and admit that I am truly gay or at the very least bi - prior to that, those things I was repressing nearly destroyed me - and I see that it lead to drinking, and depletion of my energy that I needed to continue to hide even that. I led the life I felt I needed to lead. . .doing everything perfectly. I got two years of college in before needed to take abreak because of finances - I had the perfect family...great parents who would be shocked at how I feel. I think subconsciously I believed that if my life "on the outside was in order" that my emotional stability was also in order...and so it went, my secretly drinking at night to keep the truth repressed. When I finally ended up in treatment, the only area of my life I didn't discuss in therapy were my homosexual feelings... and I still haven't - not until I came on here and met some people I could talk to, amazing how much easier it is here . . . too bad I can't find someone in real life I feel comfortable talking too.
My family and friends can never ever learn about me...but I am finally able to find some comfort in myself - trying to find a friend...a best friend...in whom I can share everything...including intimacy! I realized that if I can't be honest with my family and friends I can at least be more honest with myself. I don't have to look back...in the past I worked with information and understandings I had then...things were different...and are different again. I have to be discrete........it's not my family's or friend's problem or blessing...it's mine!
