Frequently Asked Questions
Q: "Pie"?A: Fuck you.
Random shit I heard at Harvest Fest last time:
No, we have Mike Shepard, we need one of his friends.; How much do you need?! I don't think any of us need any of this!; I'm passing you on your side. Do not hit the guy in the wheelchair. I'm very flammable.; Getting your fingers right in there, AAAGGHH!; What kind of help?; I left my jacket at the bar and told everyone not to touch it, and guess where it was when I came looking for it? IT WAS RIGHT THERE AT THE BAR!; Hey man, get your foot out of there. You'll get burned.; We're keeping warm hee hee.; I just heard fuckin' James say "Holy shit!"; I'll make the Sun come out and do the looking for me.; You want a paper towel?; Pass it on, man!; That's what we're here for, isn't it?; Is that a fuckin' Mauer shirt?!; I've been trying to figure out what the joke was, turns out it was me!; Mike Shepard doesn't exist!; So did you guys, like, go all gang-bang on her?; --maybe I'll think of more--
To those who know nossing:
I live in Richfield with like six of the pimpest chumps ever. You think your house is cool? Well it sucks compared to mine. This music isn't real; I made it while bored - I don't actually know how to use FL Studio. Do your best to ignore it. But I do play drums, so go to the Z Shaped Worm MySpace space to look at my band's page. I have one ferret/weasel/nazgul/beaver named Jack, and one named Argyle. Here are some facts about weasels: they like to dig, climb, wrestle, murder, play monkey-on-a-string, and pewp. Oh, and I'm also an ordained minister, so if you need a nondenominational party to marry you on the cheap - I'm yr guy. You know I'm awesome because I keep finding drugs on the floor at work. I love to play drums, get a little fscked up, fsck with you, and play video games. Thank you for your attention -- goodbye.
There once was a man from the cape
Who made himself garments of crepe
When asked, "Do they tear?"
He replied, "Here and there,
But they hold such a beautiful shape!"